Skip to Content

AOL Tech

satire posts

Web

Artist Proposes Edible Cell Phones to Feed the World

In our contemporary 'Inconvenient Truth' culture, much of the industrialized world has become nearly obsessed with finding alternative solutions to the massive problems of fuel shortages, waste, and environmental pollution. Newer and wackier varieties of these alternatives spring up daily, like those biofuels made from e. coli bacteria and, gulp, bunnies.

Boo Chapple, an Australian artist concerned with environmentalism, has recently put forward a tongue-in-cheek response to the energy crisis: edible cell phones. Chapple writes in her new pamphlet 'Consumables' that by feeding impoverished nations with "cast-off" phones, we could render starvation an unpleasantness of the past:
In place of e-waste, there would now be e-food. There would be no more photo essay exposés of towns in China piled with PCB's, dusted in plastic and beset with birth defects.
Chapple isn't seriously suggesting that we'll be seeing edible phones in the near future, or even that we should. Instead, her absurdist idea points a mocking finger at frequently ridiculous solutions that cannot possibly take a bite out of the world's current level of consumption and waste. "Instead of upgrading your phone once a year," she writes on her site, "you could buy a new one once a week and know that you were contributing something to the world simply by wasting more." In the style of 'A Modest Proposal,' Chapple satirizes the situation; if consumer society refuses to consume less, then why not gorge ourselves even more? To drive the point home ever further, those phones look more like something out of 'Videodrome' (more dystopian visions of a cyborg future) than they do something you'd actually want to swallow. [From: Boo Chapple, via Fast Company]

Celebrities, Web, Social Networking

Celebrity Death Hoaxes Running Wild on Twitter


Although we've had our fair share of actual celebrity deaths over the past weeks, judging by the (false) news making the rounds online, you'd think half of Hollywood had bit the dust. Jeff Goldblum supposedly took a dive off a cliff in New Zealand, and the tale quickly made its way through Twitter and Facebook. The rumor became so widespread, in fact, that Mr. Goldblum released a statement reassuring everyone that he was alive and well, even appearing on 'The Colbert Report' to further prove it.

Everyone's favorite 'Jurassic Park' chaotician wasn't alone. Soon, the Internet was abuzz with "news" that Harrison Ford's yacht had capsized, George Clooney's private plane had gone down, Miley Cyrus had been in a car accident, and Natalie Portman had tumbled off the very same cliff that claimed Goldblum.

Read more →

Web

Personality Disorders We All Have Because of the Net

The Internet is a great source for communication and research... and it makes people act absolutely insane. Just think of the various stresses we receive from our daily encounters with cell phones and computers. Carpal tunnel? Cellbow? General malaise? But now, just to complete the list of ways tech is ruining our lives, Cracked has collected its list of 'Internet Personality Disorders.'

The list takes real-life disorders, like OCD and Low Frustration Tolerance, and applies them to virtual situations. The Internet Explosive Disorder, for instance, explains away the unseemly outbursts of forum lurkers who have a penchant for pernicious punctuation ('R U KIDDING ME!??!?!?!'). There's also the Münchausen by Internet sufferer: that's the guy who can't wait to rally sympathizers around his horrendous life by posting about the death of his father/cat/friend, the loss of his job/girlfriend/hair, or the injustice of Iran/Republicans/Democrats, eventually just leading the griper to become addicted to attention.

After being raised and nurtured by the Internet, we ourselves suffer from several of these disorders. But we've also known a couple afflictions that Cracked forgot to mention. Check them out after the jump. [From: Cracked]

Read more →

Web

'Faith Fighter' Game Taken Offline Due to Muslim Group's Protest


According to Yahoo Tech, 'Faith Fighter,' the popular Internet game that pitted religious deities against one another in battle, was taken offline by its creators on Tuesday after a prominent Muslim organization protested.

The game, which debuted in 2008, has been played by millions of people and has offended that many folks several times over. In an interview with the AFP posted on Yahoo Tech, a spokesman for the Organisation of the Islamic Conference's Islamophobia Observatory described the game as "incendiary in its content and offensive to Muslims and Christians."

Read more →

Video Games

New Game Has One Strategy: Shoot People Directly in the Face


Do you enjoy first-person shooter games, but get annoyed by actually having to play the game, instead of effortlessly dealing out death and destruction? Then, read on, fellow animated death mongers. Parody news site The Onion has a new game to help satiate your thirst for simulated blood and brain matter.

Granted, 1PS (first person shooter) games, such as 'Call of Duty,' are awesome, but they're typically really, really hard. Even on the 'Easy' setting, it's incredibly difficult to run headlong into enemy forces, trying to vanquish and demoralize your opponents solely with point-blank head shots. Some of us lack the patience, or possibly the skill, to systematically snipe out opposing combatants, or to stealthily infiltrate areas behind enemy lines. But a groundbreaking new game, called 'Close Range,' changes that dynamic completely.

Gameplay involves only one button, the space bar, which you press to fire your weapon whenever a character's face appears directly in front of your gun. That's right; the game requires no aiming, or moving at all, for that matter. So, if you're too lazy to painstakingly defeat enemies through proper strategies, or you just enjoy exploding heads, check out this Peabody-worthy preview, from the Onion News Team. If you're sufficiently intrigued, you can play a demo right here. But, since this is from The Onion, if you're expecting an actual game to hit the shelves, we wouldn't suggest you get your hopes up. [From: Close Range Via: The Onion]

Related Links:

Web

Don't Have Time for Twitter? Get Ready for Flutter



Twitter is the latest craze sweeping the online social networking scene, a magical place where short attention spans and narcissism are the norm. Celebrities and politicians have hopped on the microblogging bandwagon, and they're revealing the tedium of their lives in 140-character-or-less messages known as "tweets." With all these squares jumping on board, we all know that it's time for us to look for something newer, cooler, more instantly gratifying, and more concise.

Enter Flutter, a "nano-blogging" site where members update the minutiae of their lives in 26-character-or-less messages known as "flaps" (because birds flap "faster than a regular bird tweets").

Alright, the idea laid out in the video is actually a parody, but can it really be that far off? As the humorous video says, Internet fads grow "old and irrelevant" quickly, forcing early adopters to constantly search for the next big thing. So, what's next, according to the filmmakers, after people lose interest in Flutter? They propose "Shutter" (or is that "Shudder?"), a site which will broadcast 10-character-or-less messages, sans vowels, straight to your brain. Satire, or a visionary glimpse into the future? Check out the video -- if you can pay attention for an entire 3:30 minutes -- and decide for yourself. [From SearchEngineWatch.com]


Related Links:

Computers

Onion News on Sony's New Piece of S--- Gadget


Sure, the Onion is supposed to be satirical and over the top, but it certainly speaks the truth about trendy gadgets in this profanity-laced video (after the break). The clip, from the Onion News Network, reports on Sony's newest gadget, which nobody needs and doesn't really do much, yet for whatever reason, everybody needs one.

They interview a regular guy outside of an electronics store, who says the gadget has a "whole bunch more memory and megapixels" than all his other "TV s---," so naturally, he needs to get it. The unnamed gadget has "impossible to open packaging" and drives its users crazy by "flashing random words and numbers" and "not coming with the doohickey thing it's supposed to."

What really strikes a chord with us is the "irritating ad campaign" that makes it seem like the next gadget you need to own "if you don't want to feel like a toothless hillbilly living in some hillbilly shack somewhere." You'll probably notice the similarities between that and Storm ads and any new iPod promotion. Check out the video below for yourself to see how much you can relate, and remember, it's chock full of cursing, so don't watch it in public without headphones. [From: The Onion]

Read more →

Video Games

Liberty City Police Face 'Allegations' Of Incompetence, Brutality




Everybody's favorite fake news site The Onion is reporting that citizens of Liberty City are getting fed up. They claim that the Liberty City Police Department (LCPD) has been negligent and generally unsuccessful in its attempts to curtail the "constant car chases, ongoing gun battles, and overall atmosphere of violence" that has become part and parcel of living in the metropolis.

The surge in crime is said to have started on April 28 at midnight -- perhaps not coincidentally, the release date of the little-known video game Grand Theft Auto IV. Since then, more than 830,000 civilians have been murdered, 35,000 vehicles have been reported stolen, and drug trafficking has become rampant while prostitution has increased by 800 percent.

"I used to feel safe in Liberty City, but lately, it's been total mayhem," said night-shift worker Lola Del Rio (pictured above), who, per usual, spoke to reporters while sucking nervously on a red lollipop. "In the past week alone, I've been carjacked twice, run over 10 times, and witness to a half-dozen gunfights that ended with automobiles exploding. What are the police doing to stop all this?"

Lawsuits await, surely [Source: The Onion]

Computers

Malaysian Blogger Arrested for Political Satire

Malaysian Blogger Arrested for Political SatireMalaysian authorities are out to prove that no one has a monopoly on stifling Internet based free speech. Nat Tan, blogger at Jelas.info has been arrested under the country's Official Secrets Act.

Nat was arrested, according to initial reports, for posting doctored images of the Deputy Prime Minister that showed him having dinner with a victim of a high profile murder and a prominent scandal-plagued political analyst.

The authorities are now saying he has classified documents in his possession, which may be linked to allegations of corruption against government officials.

Supporters are posting the image to the right as a sign of solidarity with the imprisoned blogger. We of course as well feel it necessary to post as well. We're fans of free speech and political satire so, it's a no brainer.

From Boing Boing

Related Links:

Cell Phones, iPhone

Hilarious Conan O'Brien iPhone Spoof

As we approach the June 29 mega-launch of the iPhone, Apple is hyping the crap out of itself with new TV ads showing off all of the handset's impressive functionality. In honor of the new ads, we present this classic Conan O'Brien spoof showing that the iPhone is much more versatile than Apple is letting on. You name it, the iPhone does it -- even sideburns.

Related Links:

Switched Video

Follow Switched on Twitter

Deals of the Day

Latest Reviews from CNET.com

CNET provides the latest tech news, unbiased reviews, videos, podcasts, software, and downloads, making tech products easy to find, understand and use.

Top Product Reviews

  • Home Audio Reviews

    9.0 out of 10

    Definitive Technology BPX
    Works great with Dolby Pro Logic and Dolby Digital. Full Review

    9.0 out of 10

    Denon AVR-4306 (black)
    Incredibly well-featured 7.1-channel receiver; excellent sound quality; three HDMI inputs; converts analog video to HDMI output; upconverts analog video to 720p/1080i HD resolution; iPod and USB MP3 player connectivity; Internet radio and MP3/WMA streaming audio via built-in Ethernet port; XM Satellite Radio compatible; touch-screen remote; multizone, multisource operation; browser-based control via home network; accurate autocalibration routine. Full Review

    8.8 out of 10

    KEF KHT3005 (black)
    The KEF KHT-3005 is one compact, beautifully designed speaker package with solid aluminum satellites that feature unique driver technology to produce incredible clarity. Meanwhile, the equally astounding dual 10-inch, 250-watt powered subwoofer delivers ultradeep bass. Full Review

  • Cell Phone Reviews

    8.7 out of 10

    SignalBoost Mobile Professional Amplifier Kit
    The Mobile Professional Amplifier delivers a powerful signal boost to your cell phone. Also, it offers a compact design and easy setup. Full Review

    8.6 out of 10

    Wi-Ex zBoost YX510-PCS-CEL cell phone signal extender
    The Wi-Ex zBoost YX510-PCS-CEL significantly boosts your cell phone reception and is easy to operate. Also, it uses a wireless connection to your phone. Full Review

    8.3 out of 10

    LG VX6000 (Verizon Wireless)
    Compact and stylish; impressive battery life; solid audio quality; sharp color screen; built-in camera; USB ready; affordable. Full Review

  • Digital Camera Reviews
  • Desktop Reviews

    8.9 out of 10

    Velocity Micro Edge Z30 (Intel Core i7)
    Best value among midrange gaming PCs; Velocity Micro's consistently high build quality; compact case makes few sacrifices; second graphics card slot previously uncommon at this price. Full Review

    8.5 out of 10

    Apple iMac (24-inch, 2.8GHz)
    A minor specification update results in some significant performance gains; graphics upgrade an option on this 24-inch model; sleek, polished design didn't receive an update, but we won't start clamoring for a new design until the current one is at least 12 months old. Full Review

    8.4 out of 10

    Velocity Raptor Signature Edition Gaming PC
    One of the fastest PCs we've tested; a PCI Express RAID card helps media encoding performance; typically immaculate Velocity Micro assembly; strong, three-year warranty. Full Review

Featured Galleries

Nissan Land Glider
Vintage Keyboards
Retro Computer Logos
Vintage Computer Festival
Motorola CLIQ
iPod touch
iTunes 9
Video iPod Nano
The Beatles: Rock Band

 

Switched Desktop

Get the New Switched Desktop

Latest tech news, Switched mail, and more.

AOL Tech Network

Resources

Autoblog

Daily Finance

Download Squad

Engadget

Joystiq

Urlesque

Fanhouse Main

WalletPop

Gadling