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Large Hadron Collider Clogged by Bird's Baguette Bomb

Every now and then, something will randomly fall out of the sky into an extremely insular environment, and chaos and confusion will erupt. Those consequences, as Chicken Little will tell you, can be devastating.

Something along those lines recently happened at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) when a bird dropped a baguette on the giant particle accelerator as it was flying overhead, nearly shutting the whole thing down in the process. The Register reports that the LHC, located at CERN laboratories in Switzerland, saw temperatures in parts of its accelerator circuits rise rapidly as a result of this baguette-bombing bird. (We're gonna go out on a limb and guess it was French.) Luckily, the LHC wasn't in operation, because if it had been, the incident would've likely suspended all further activity. Dr. Mike Lamont, who works in the CERN control center, reassured everyone that the LHC's safety net would have been strong enough to withstand the attack, especially in light of its significant upgrade in September.

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Celebrities

Maybe Tom Hanks Can Get the Large Hadron Collider Working



The world's scariest technological advancement and Hollywood's most familiar standby will soon meet, according to Crunchgear.

In case you'd forgotten, the massive, underground machine the Large Hadron Collider -- engineered to simulate the "Big Bang" -- was first kicked into gear last September. Fortunately for everybody, when the switch was flipped, the world didn't implode. Unfortunately for the scientists involved, when the switch was flipped, the Large Hadron Collider broke down, requiring around $29 million in repairs.

Scientists with the Swiss laboratory Cern are now hoping that 'Forrest Gump-', 'Da Vinci Code-' and 'Bachelor Party'-star Tom Hanks will be able to rub some of his moxie off on the repaired machine and push the button as early as June, the Telegraph reports. Since Hanks's forthcoming film, the 'Da Vinci Code' sequel 'Angels and Demons,' deals with antimatter stolen from Cern, we imagine the scientists saw a unique publicity opportunity. We just hope the LHC relaunch fares better than 'The Ladykillers'. [From: The Telegraph via CrunchGear]

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Computers

Is the Hadron Collider Still Going to Destroy the World?

Fox News Makes Unqualified Assertion that LHC Will Kill Us All

We thought that we had heard the last from the doom-sayers about the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), but of course leave it to that bastion of high-quality journalism, Fox News, to find a research paper that slightly contradicts accepted scientific assumptions about the LHC and twist them into prophecies of world-ending catastrophe.

A new study from three scientists, Roberto Casadio of the University of Bologna, and Sergio Fabi and Benjamin Harms of the University of Alabama, suggests that the initial math regarding the decay of the microscopic black holes may have been slightly off. It was originally anticipated that the tiny black holes scientists hoped to create with the LHC would decay in under a millisecond. This new study, however, suggests that they may last much longer -- possibly past the one-second mark.

Of course, the Fox News science and technology department seems to think this means that the LHC will create a black hole that will grow at an uncontrollable rate and swallow the Earth. This position, however, completely ignores the findings of the new study, which clearly states that the black holes will still decay quicker than they can accumulate mass, and will disappear safely into the atmosphere or the Earth.

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