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What Would a World Without Internet Look Like?

What Would a World Without Internet Look Like?

Ever wonder what the Net-addicted masses would do if the Web suddenly disappeared? So has Cracked, which enlisted its readers in a contest to create Photoshopped images of what a world without the Internet might look like.

We don't want to ruin all the surprises, but highlights include: a theater full of people watching a live performance from an adorable cat; a resurrected Virgin Records taunting former file-sharers; a line around the block just to get into a porn shop; lastly, (our favorite) a student getting an "A" on a spelling and grammar quiz.

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Google, Web

Google Street View: The Movie, A Buddy Comedy

Google Street View: The Movie, A Buddy Comedy
Google has photographed nearly every street in America, and it's working on expanding Street View to the rest of the planet. Ever wonder how Google put together this impressive and intrusive feature for Maps? Well College Humor would like to imagine it started with two pasty, humanoid blobs hired by Google to take a road trip across the entire country.

Minus the Gumby like appearance (and bizarrely slow beard growth) of the characters, we hope that if Google had actually tossed two complete strangers in a car together and asked them to take the world's longest road trip and photograph every single street, they would have been smart enough to turn it into a reality show. Fox or ABC would gobble that crap up.

The highlight for us? When Evan cries and pleads to stop as Mike drives past his mother on the street. Mike's one word reply: "Google..." Watch the video below. [From: College Humor]

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Web

How a Geek Can Bomb a Job Interview

While usually well-intentioned, geeks are often awkward in social situations. (No, Facebook doesn't count.) We're talking about face-to-face conversation. Short of a permanent power outage, it might be the geek's worst nightmare.

We understand nerves can get the best of a person sometimes. Nonetheless, there are times when direct communication is simply unavoidable. For example, a job interview. Now, if you're not a master orator (no, speaking through a wireless headset while playing 'Halo 3' doesn't count, either), the prospect of sitting across a desk from a potential employer sends shivers up your spine. Don't fret! Just commit this list of 11 ways geeks ruin job interviews to memory.

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Video Games

Video Game Characters' Facebook Statuses Make Us LOL


Be honest. Most of your friends' Facebook status updates are boring. Who cares if Tina is "boreddd in class," or if Ben "got way 2 wastd this wknd." You want to read something interesting, not a recap of a day nearly as mundane as your own. That's why video game characters need a larger presence on the social-networking site. College Humor gave us a preview of what a these status updates would look like, and the results are hilarious.

Princess Peach whines about getting kidnapped (again), much to Bowser's delight. Loyal sidekick Tails gets jealous when he finds out that his idol, Sonic the Hedgehog, ditched him for Knuckles. Cloud Strife is all emo and angsty as usual. Wait a second, these characters' lives aren't all that different from our friends' lives. Where's the "dislike" button when we need it? [From: College Humor, via Geekologie]

Web

Bra Gas Mask Wins Ig Nobel Prize


The Nobel Prizes are always preceded by the Ig Nobel Prizes, which honor research that "makes people laugh and think." This year's Ig Nobel winners have turned tequila into diamonds, studied full versus empty beer-bottle-to-head injuries (turns out they both hurt), and even designed a bra that, during your average chemical warfare blitz, doubles as a pair of gas masks for you and a friend. Dr. Elena Bodnar, winner of the Public Health prize for her bustier-cum-breathing apparatus, demonstrated the effectiveness of her invention on two real Nobel laureates, who presented her award.

Nobel laureates wearing bras on their faces? Why didn't we get invited to this frat party? Bodnar shares her new (ig-)nobility with such dignified past winners as Kees Moeliker, who discovered the propensity for gay necrophilia in ducks, and Dr. Francis Fesmire, whose cure for hiccups involves the manipulation of your interior posterior.

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Advice, Editor's Picks

12 Gadgets to Survive the Apocalypse



Now is a good time to ponder the apocalypse. Iran and North Korea are going nuclear, the wonky weather is a harbinger of catastrophic climate change, and end-of-the-world blockbusters abound. (Tim Burton's '9' came out last week and '2012,' 'The Road,' and 'Zombieland' are all coming up later this fall.)

In that dismal spirit, the Switched team has gathered its first choices for last-chance gadgetry -- a collection of 12 must-haves if society is in peril, whether it be by fire or ice, zombies or aliens. Using our handy "What Type of Apocalypse Will It Be?" chart below, you'll be able to find the right gadgets for the right disaster and the ensuing fallout. We've prepared for all possibilities (Needs for speed, power, disease prevention, water sources, and survivalist entertainment, among others, are all accounted for.), but have left out weapons -- that's a whole other enchilada. So as icebergs melt and horsemen ride, gear up and get ready.




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Web

The Art of the 404/Broken Link Page

Here's a key to good design: Think about things everyone has grown accustomed to -- mugs, mice, modems -- and give it a breath of fresh air. Keep it engaging, functioning, but eye-catching. For geeks, the place to re-energize and stretch their creative legs is the old fashioned '404' page. Usually displaying a message like "File not found," "Link Broken," or "No Such Page," these notifications have frustrated us all in our Web wanderings. The rare page that strays from the norm by offering up a witty note or humorous story helps to lighten the annoyance of getting lost on the Web.

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Web, Social Networking

Delusional Lady Insists She's Student's Mother on Facebook

Crazy Lady Insists Shes Student's Mother on Facebook

When College Humor is your source, you can't assume the material is 100-percent real. But that said, even if "Facebook Mom" is purely fictional, it's not hard to imagine that someone has experienced something similar.

According to the popular humor site, the above screen shot depicts a Facebook conversation between a Penn State student and some woman who seems to think she is his mother. The image was passed to the writer by his brother, to whom it was forwarded by a friend.

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Computers, Web

Ways the Internet Could Come Crashing Down


For many (us included), living without the Internet would be akin to living without oxygen. It just can't be done. Much to our horror, there are some nefarious types out there who are constantly plotting to bring the Web crashing down, forever denying us access to cute pictures of cats and free pornography. (That is all it's good for, right?)

Thankfully, some caring folks at News.com.au have compiled a list of 10 ways to destroy the Internet. Now, it's up to all you good-hearted geeks to study this 'inside information' (straight from a secret underground war room, we bet), and figure out ways to prevent such a tragedy. Below, we paraphrase a few of News.com.au's biggest threats and offer some of our own solutions, too.
  • Threat: Submarines equipped with giant scissors patrol the seas, cutting underwater cables. Solution: Easy. Just train sharks equipped with torpedoes to protect those cables.
  • Threat: Nations deploy armies of hackers to wreak havoc by creating super-viruses. Solution: Just replace each hacker's wireless mouse with an old, corded rolling-ball mouse. They'll become so frustrated that they'll just give up.
  • Evil-doers use an electromagnetic pulse to destroy hardware. Solution: Consult Benjamin Linus from 'Lost.' He seems to know a thing or two about electromagnetic activity.

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Web

NASA's Odd History of Mission Patches



For generations of geeks -- yes, we went to space camp -- NASA was the center of all things science and technology. Dwindling budgets, declining public interest, and a lack of gee whiz tech may be plaguing the agency today, but don't worry, the nerds are still in command. Wired writes about the long-running military tradition, which NASA adopted with a twist, of creating mission patches. We're hardly surprised at the past decades' patches, marked by everything from Daffy Duck and Marvin Martian references and treadmills named after fake late night pundits to just plain weird designs.

The nerdiest design, though, commemorates the International Space Station's Multi-Purpose Logistics Model, comprised of three (of four) modules named after renaissance artists. Naturally, the mission patch features sai-weilding Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Raphael holding a space helmet.

Wired has more zany mission patches, and you can browse others at NASA's history section. While you're at it, don't miss Wired's other list of Awesomely Bad Military Patches. [From: Wired via Neatorama]

Editor's Picks

'Star Trek' Dog Costume, Engage! (Caption Contest)


We stumbled on this mind-boggling 'Star Trek' dog costume earlier today on The Daily What, and just had to share. In the tradition of our friends over at Engadget, we gathered captions from team Switched.

Josh F: "I swear to God if you laugh even a little I will totally bite your #@&*@ ankle."
Chad: "Dog's [sic] die in space"
Leila: "Deep Space K-9: The Trouble with Kibbles"
Warren: "Where no dog has gone before and, hopefully, will never go again."
Tom S: "I went on the U.S.S. Enterprise and all I got was this dumb spaceship suit."
Tom C: "And I thought being neutered was as humiliating as it got."
Dan R: "If you hadn't drank those bud lights, you'd see how dumb this looks for both of us."
Tim: "The perfect accessory for picking up green alien chicks at the park."
Jon C: "Set course for planet dry hump, Mr Crusher. Engage."
Thomas H: Joke's on you, owner. The shuttle bay is full and needs to be evacuated.

Web

AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com to Become Book

Anyone interested in Net entrepreneurship, tapping into current memes, or just quick and easy money has dreamed of making some big bucks by inventing a unique and creative site. While Web accomplishments may inspire book deals and instant fame, the success rarely, if at all, results in a coffee table book.

But if any site's format will translate successfully into a crowd-friendly, conversation-inspiring gallery of pictures, it's definitely AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com. The New York Observer writes that Three Rivers Press, which is a member of the Random House family, bought the rights to the site created by Mike Bender and Doug Chernack, and now plans to publish the tome (Photoshopped concept at right) of uncomfortable hilarity in May of 2010

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Computers

GPS Typo Leads Tourists 400 Miles in the Wrong Direction

US citizens get a bad rap for a supposed ignorance of geography, but, according to MSNBC, certain Scandinavians are directionally challenged as well. While taking a holiday in Italy, a Swedish couple attempted to use their GPS to guide them to the resort island of Capri, but they accidentally interchanged two significant letters when typing in their destination.

After the couple believed they had reached Capri, they pulled over to ask for directions to the "Blue Grotto," a scenic system of caves located on the famous island. Bewildered employees at the tourist office told the wayward couple that they were, in fact, in the industrial, landlocked town of Carpi, located 400 miles from their intended stop at the polar opposite end of Italy.

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Computers, Web

If We Chose the Names of Wireless Networks in Our Building...



The world would be a far less connected place without those ignorant but honorable souls with unsecured wireless networks named "linksys." It never fails that whenever we are stranded at a foreign apartment bereft of Internet access, someone living nearby has left their Wi-Fi on the default setting. E-mail, surfing, messaging? And how.

On some of our more Web adroit days, we'll admit we've been tempted to string together a "192.168.1.1" in our browser, access the modem, and change the name of the wide-open network. Nothing mean-spirited, of course; just a silent 'thank you' for the momentary connection. Imagine coming home from work and clicking that little wireless antenna logo to see your network name has been changed to "linksys_gave_me_20_minutes_of_unadulterated_joy_thanks."

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Top Lists, Web

21 Office Supplies Too Great to Be Real

Solitaire for urinals? A La-Z-Boy office chair? If it sounds too good to be true, it is -- but that's because Cracked.com has come up with 21 of the coolest office supplies that would be too awesome to actually exist.

The Web site had an open call to its Photoshop-wielding readers to imagine a world where technology only improves the office setting (like automatic fly-detecting machines in the bathroom alerting users to "XYZ.") instead of making it more of a daily grind.

Number one on the list is surprisingly NSFW, but should appeal to anyone that deplores mindless data entry. Other gems include "Boss Approaching Vision" and "Cubicle-ready Rear-View Mirrors." Take a look at the entire list here. [From: Cracked]

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