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Fastest Text Message Record Combines Marketing Gimmick and Useless Talent

Although freak shows have all but disappeared from modern carnivals -- since conjoined twins are now typically sawed in half, and "dog-faced" sufferers of hypertrichosis just get frequent waxes -- we can still look to the Guinness Book of World Records to expose the Earth's strangest and least-marketable talents and afflictions. While it may not be as lofty an achievement as Most Rattlesnakes ...