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Google Search Suggestions Show Popular, Moronic Queries

The Brits are great, some of our favorite people. Well-dressed, polite, fabulous musicians, but perhaps a bit too hard on the average individual. In a recent investigation on the nature of humanity, CNET.co.uk decided to see what popular searches Google offered when prompted by simple questions, and the findings were bleak. Using 'Google Suggest,' the auto-fill feature that predicts text as it's being input into the search query, suggested that most Googlers looking for answers are, in fact, stupid. The phrases entered were examples like "Am I going..." and the Google-prompted response would be, "Into Labour?" (See, British spelling). CNET's snide answer: "Is there a brand-new human poking out of your lower body? If yes, then congratulations, you're going into labour. More accurately, you're already in it."

Fair enough; people who use the Internet can be quite daft. But that's the joy on the Web, having immediate answers to questions you might feel to, er...stupid to ask. A lost soul could type in an absurd question, like "Am I having a heart attack?" and quickly get a plethora of responses. Sure, typing in "Why can't I..." reveals the silly-sounding "Own a Canadian," but actually hearkens back to a Dr. Laura radio program. Typing, "Why would a..." in the UK Google box is finished by "...married man cheat?" but on the regular .com, we see "...a change in ph cause a protein to denature" as the top result, followed by "...a cat stop using a litter box?" Honestly, both are questions that should be answered immediately. (Note: Search results are based in popularity, so perhaps there has been a spike in pH changes recently.)

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TV, Televisions

Are You Too Short-Sighted to Enjoy HDTV?


If Vision Express was looking for some attention, it just got it. A recent study by the optician chain found that 60-percent of Britons had avoided an eye test over the past year, with that number rising to 79-percent in Scotland.

Phillip Hyde, dispensing optician and head of professional services at the firm, was quoted as saying that "even a marginally short-sighted person sitting on a sofa watching an HD broadcast may not see the full benefits in enhanced image quality." As if that wasn't comical enough, he continued by saying: "If you're investing in HDTV, you ought to have your eyes checked to make sure you get the full benefit."

You heard it here first, folks -- factor in the cost of an eye exam before buying your next HDTV, or you'll regret it. Forever. [Image courtesy of Lenslinger]

Cell Phones

TrueCall Fights Telemarketers and Unknown Callers

Telemarketers-turned-inventors from the United Kingdom have started shipping TrueCall (£99.99), a device that acts as an automated secretary on your land line, either forwarding trusted numbers to your phone or answering untrusted numbers with an automated message and shooing them away. When an unrecognized number dials in, TrueCall asks them who they are and then rings you asking whether or not you want to take it. Sure, it's not the most fun way to automatically ditch unscrupulous callers, but we'd like to listen in on the conversation when a robocall reaches this baby -- it'd be like one wall talking to another wall.

[Via Slashdot]

Computers

GPS-Equipped School Uniform Allows Parents to Track Kids

TrutexEvery high school student's worst nightmare is about to come true.

No, not the one about showing up naked to class -- the one where your parents and your school can track your every move.

British company Trutex has come up with a way to sew satellite-based tracking devices into school uniforms. Trutex argues that 59 percent of British parents are "interested" in purchasing the GPS-enabled duds for their offspring, at least according to some of their own market research figures.

We remember high school being a bit like prison, but embedding a tracking device similar to the one Paris Hilton had to wear inside a kid's clothes seems a bit extreme, no?



From Engadget and CNET

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