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Best of the Week: Web Stupidity With a Twist, News Corp. Says Google Isn't Fair

by Warren Riddle (RSS feed) — Nov 15th 2009 at 4:02PM


Net blunders have somewhat lost their shock value recently. Ridiculous stories about stupid people getting in trouble doing stupid things sometimes elicit nothing more than an unenthusiastic "meh" from the reading public. Last week, though, the Net idiocy genre experienced a few dramatic twists. Accidental e-mail inclusions and the old 'Reply All' mishap have created infinite amounts of uncomfortable scenarios, but rarely do those situations gross out an entire university campus. Criminals also often get busted because of Web shenanigans, but a suspected British burglar got popped last week after he pulled an incredibly moronic, vain, and unheard of media stunt. And, in perhaps the strangest shift of paradigm, American Airlines fired an employee because of an e-mail, but instead of being laced with profanity or pornography, the message was a courteous and honest response to a displeased customer. Maybe it's time for someone to update the rules of the Internet. On to the other news....
  • Google Trends data may actually help predict which U.S. region will provide the next e-mail or Web-related mishap. According to the numbers, Herndon, Virginia is the most profane and vulgar city in America. Check the list to see if your town made the rankings.
  • The mission statement for Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. is "Creating and distributing top-quality news, sports and entertainment around the world." ("Create" the news? Isn't it supposed to be "report?") But, we learned last week that if Murdoch has his way, News Corp. won't be distributing news through Google, and the news won't be free, either.
  • The old stereotype that men refuse to ask for directions may need to be updated for the 21st century. A Gadget Line survey revealed that, while men aren't afraid to call tech support for gadget help, they're far more frustrating and annoying to deal with than women.
  • Technology and video games have inspired a slew of awesomely geeky marriage proposals, but that trend rarely carries over to the actual wedding invitations. Illustrator Carla Berrocal has created some fantastically dorky 8-bit invites for a pair of computer scientist lovebirds. (Warning: Graphic 8-bit nudity.)

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Best of the Week: Evil Baguettes, Mickey Mouse, and Baby Monitors

by Leila Brillson (RSS feed) — Nov 8th 2009 at 5:09PM

Like pet-of-the-week Pinky the Cat, even the most adorable and innocent of critters can turn into vicious terrors when hiding behind the anonymous wall of technology. Once peaceful people can suddenly turn violent when sheltered by the Net, a cell phone, or even a large, exo-suit cargo loader. Imagine, if you will, happy-go-lucky Mickey Mouse suddenly taking a turn for the rogue thanks to a new video game. Fancy a mild-mannered, 14-year-old boy leading a Facebook revolution, or a regular ol' baby monitor suddenly going all Big Brother on its users. The seemingly harmless are transformed into corrupt, avian balls of fury, hurling baked goods into multi-million-dollar, potentially world-disrupting equipment. The danger is clear. A sheep in tech-infested, super-soluble, implanted silicone clothing is just as terrifying as the wolf, itself. Some other things to be wary of:

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Best of the Week: Days of the Dead, Web Milestones

by Warren Riddle (RSS feed) — Oct 31st 2009 at 5:02PM


(Cue spooky intro music.) Good evening, ghouls, ghosts, and geeks. It's Halloween week, and though there's not much more frightening than nerds dressed in creepy comic book costumes, the days preceding All Hallow's Eve are rife with terrifying tales of Internet death and despair.

We learned that Walmart will actually begin catering to the dead, and the undead with a new series of caskets, located in its online 'For the Home' category. Facebook also announced that it would be celebrating the dearly departed, but with the welcome addition of allowing members to "memorialize" the pages of cherished loved ones. And, while Xbox user Greg slept innocently, his dog Oscar lost control and went 'Cujo' on one his controllers. Before he sent the ravaged controller to a premature grave, Oscar viciously charged $62.50 to Greg's Xbox Live account.

The always traumatizing Net scammers constantly prey upon the concerns of the public during trying times, and their current tactics involve capitalizing on the swine flu scare. Thankfully, precautionary methods exist that like crosses and silver bullets to spam, like these tips right here. But enough horrific and morbid tales of Web doom and gloom; here are a few other top stories that should help you rest in the peace during the nightmarish weekend:
  • It seems that everyone hates the new Facebook look, even founder Mark Zuckerberg. But, you can actually alter your page to look like it previously did, or get pretty close.
  • If you're looking to save dollars this holiday season, prepaid phones offer a variety of thrifty options. If you're unsure of the benefits, or are curious about what they have to offer, here's a guide to help you get started.
  • Google CEO Eric Schmidt recently spoke about the future of the Web, and he contends that within five years, the Net will be significantly bigger and faster, with even more emphasis on social media. He also believes that Chinese language content will skyrocket.
  • With Schmidt's Chinese assertion, the news that Web addresses will soon include non-Latin alphabet characters, like Chinese and Russian symbols, grows even more significant. The elimination of Web segregation and exclusion coincides nicely with the upcoming 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall.
  • There was a geek rager last night in honor of the Internet's big 4-0, which could explain why Web pages have been loading so slowly all day. Next time, Net, drink a glass of water and knock down a few aspirin before you go to bed. You'd think that a 40-year-old would know that by now.

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Best of the Week: Windows 7, Mac, Nook Debuts, Horrible Wii Mishaps

by Leila Brillson (RSS feed) — Oct 25th 2009 at 4:45PM

Ah, yes. The Internet. Giving the keyboard playing super cat within us a moment to shine, allowing every innocent-seeming, TV-shattering faux pas circulate the Net worldwide because one little camera caught your moronic Wiimote slip up.Or having your good, Dolce and Gabbana name smeared all over the Web tabloids simply because you decided to check your exes voicemail a couple (hundred) times. Not every virtual moment is filled with messy TV hosts or jilted lovers -- sometimes the accessibility of the Web means those voices that are disenfranchised can finally have a moment to shine. Finally, there is a space for the oft-over looked emo kids making out or the always-forgotten love between a turtle and its boot.

For those hungry for their fifteen minutes of page-count fame, try literally appearing in a megastar's video. John Mayer thinks its ok if any old schlub hops into his. A word to the wise, however. Be careful about what absurd heights are attempted try to secure your own Internet stardom, because, on the Net, the past seems to emerge in the most mysterious ways. Other stories in the meta-spotlight this week:

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Best of the Week: Capitalism, Freedom, and Equality on the Web

by Warren Riddle (RSS feed) — Oct 18th 2009 at 4:30PM

Our Land of Opportunity allows anyone with a little capitalistic ingenuity, or a complete lack of shame, to score 15 minutes in the spotlight. She may be from across the pond, but psychic Jayne Wallace will attempt to capitalize on Twitter and fame-obsessed Americans when she holds a Halloween 'Tweance' to tweet with dead celebs. At the opposite end of the longevity spectrum, designer Matthew Waldman has already carved his own indelible niche by dramatically modernizing an ancient concept -- time.

Sometimes the Home of the Free doesn't necessarily provide the same freedoms to everyone. A fascinating article in Advances in Physiology Education recently investigated why women weren't given a legitimate role in the burgeoning space program of the 50's, despite characteristics which may have made them superior candidates. Outside the U.S., Finland recently passed a law making broadband Internet access a basic and inalienable right for its citizens. Aren't we Yanks entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of free broadband? We could use to it to publicize our brief moments of fame, like documenting our life-saving, bear-stopping iPhone hurl. Now, rounding out the week's other top tech news....
  • Pepsi was forced to offer a half-hearted apology last week for its 'Amp Up Before You Score' app. It supposedly turns energy drink-guzzling losers into Leon Phelps lotharios.
  • Programmers and scientists often seem stoic and distant, but Net creator Sir Tim Berners-Lee endeared himself to even the most technologically averse during a recent interview. When explaining why he'd needlessly incorporated the double slash (//) in Web addresses, he offered the highly familiar, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
  • We all have in-laws or relatives dangling in Facebook 'Friend Request' purgatory, so get a little help deciding what to do with those invites (accept, reject, or brazenly let them linger in no-man's-land), these 10 Facebook family tips will help eliminate any discomfort when you have to actually see those folks in person over the holidays.

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Best of the Week: Fall Phishing, The Police's Drummer Talks Tech

by Warren Riddle (RSS feed) — Oct 11th 2009 at 4:26PM


Thank Zod it's Friday. Even though the air is growing crisp and the foliage is beginning to colorfully explode, the sweet, welcome relief of autumn has unfortunately been marred by evil phishers, grifters, and scam artists. The first full week of October began with news that 10,000 stolen Hotmail passwords had appeared on the Web, quickly followed by the discovery of an additional 20,000 compromised log-ins from other major providers. Perhaps most troubling was that an investigation into the Hotmail assault revealed that the most common password on the nefarious list was "123456."

The cyber criminals didn't limit their evil deeds to e-mail, though; this week, the FBI issued a public warning about a months-old Facebook phony friend scheme. Thankfully, these scams are all avoidable, so take a look at these easy and essential steps to ensure safe passage through the Web. Not all of the news this week was bad, though. Check out the remaining, more uplifting stories so you can focus on a beautiful fall weekend instead of worrying about all that virtual villainy.
  • The 'Gross National Happiness Index,' which tracked Facebook status updates for two years, determined that the two saddest days on the social networking site were those of Heath Ledger and Michael Jackson's deaths, revealing that humans haven't completely become emotionless automatons completely devoid of empathy. Yet.
  • No one is immune to an occasional, accidental slip of the finger, or an unintentionally misspelled word, but sometimes the typos can have disastrous consequences. Take, for instance, these five terrible, but true (and hilarious if it didn't happen to you) mishaps.
  • Stewart Copeland, the drummer for seminal punk/reggae/rock/pop band The Police, revealed to the Switched staff that he wields both an iPhone and a BlackBerry, and that, on occasion, even he commits the pocket-dial foul.
  • We got to test drive the new Sony PSP, and while it may be the best PSP yet, noticeable flaws and a lack of upgrades keep it from being an absolute gaming necessity.

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Best of the Week: Bad, Bad Net Blunders, Pervy iPod Users

by Leila Brillson (RSS feed) — Oct 4th 2009 at 4:34PM


This week, it was as if the world was trying to demonstrate how not to behave on the Internet. Sure, sometimes it can be a communication, text-based, streaming video free-for-all, but it's more than obvious that trying to sell your grandma is definitely not okay. No one, no matter the forum, looks too kindly on impersonation, racism, or slander (especially not all three), and it certainly doesn't take a genius to figure out that polling Facebook to ask whether the President of the United States should be assassinated is probably not a good idea. (Hey, we're all about free speech. Dumb, inflammatory speech isn't covered by law.) Maybe not all bad Internet actions involve such a heinous lapse in judgment, but some holy, sacred things should just be done in person. The Net is an extension of the real world, so like anything else, it's best to think twice before you open your big mouth. Other stories of note:

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Best of the Week: The Weird World Wide Web, Avoid Virtual Ethics Slips

by Leila Brillson (RSS feed) — Sep 27th 2009 at 4:41PM


Weird, super bizarre, uncanny things have been happening since the dawn of time, but with the advent of hyper connectivity, the world witnesses strange happenings faster than ever. And, as with anything, the deeper you dig, the stranger things get. Sure, a Jedi hanging out in a supermarket is a little odd, but not as creepy as, say, a vampiric lamp from hell. And with a couple simple Google searches, it's even possible to discover that robots make better proctologists than doctors (imagine that one while falling asleep at night). Our universe is indeed wacky, and only gets curiouser the more exposed we become (and we are indeed exposed, with background-checking iPhone apps running amuck). So instead of ending this week with the most absurd story we could find, we're just going to close out by saying at least our technology isn't as erratic as that found in Hollywood horr films. Some other stranger-than-fiction news that you may have missed:

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Best of the Week: Kanye Finally Lets Us Finish, Terrifying Leaping Bots

by Leila Brillson (RSS feed) — Sep 20th 2009 at 4:25PM


Yo, last week, you were good and all, and I'm gonna let you finish, but this week was the best week ever. Things happened this week. Big things. The last seven days have brought a flurry of activity, like Kanye West interrupting poor Taylor Swift at the VMAs inspiring a hugely popular Kanye meme. Or the epic battle between a man, his beloved garlic, and an ISP as a metaphor for rural society rejecting technology. And while this may not be news to some, the opening of a 'Harry Potter' theme park made our personal front pages. While the rest of the world was off reading legitimate news sources (and possibly getting infected with viruses because of it), we diligently monitored the lines and discovered that Warren Buffet's inability to check voice mail may have caused the recession. No need to thank us, we are just doing our jobs. Other things to thank us for:

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Best of the Week: Steve Jobs Returns, Motorola Launches CLIQ Phone

by Leila Brillson (RSS feed) — Sep 13th 2009 at 8:43PM


Technology makes strange bedfellows, especially when used in the most curious ways, like exploring uninhabitable environments or turning a pigeon into a FTP. Even parents, those old-fashioned fuddy-duddies, have found ways to turn advanced communication into an omnipotent grasp on their kids. Even the stylish and in vogue turn to geek culture for inspiration, now and again. Just remember, unexpected tech partnerships are great, until inanimate objects start using tech to taunt each other online. Other gadget-related news that requires your attention:

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Best of the Week: Nature Vs. Tech, Disney Buys Marvel

by Warren Riddle (RSS feed) — Sep 6th 2009 at 7:11PM



As another long work week comes to a close, it's time once again to look back at the most significant, ridiculous, and awesome stories that we could find during our travels through the Tubes. Some of these you may have missed the first time, but others are definitely worth a second look, so, read on, and enjoy the holiday weekend!

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Best of the Week: 'Star Trek' Dogs and Puzzle-Solving Bots

by Leila Brillson (RSS feed) — Aug 30th 2009 at 4:12PM


Here's is what we've learned this week: We all need technology. All of us. Luddites no more, we've become dependent on devices as we daily increase in 'dork-dom.' A paralyzed graffiti writer uses tech to draw again, or a frantic violinist uses GPS to track down his priceless instrument in a cab. Vital uses, no doubt, but other individuals have come up with not-so-crucial ways to modernize their daily routine, like the Swedish hacker who taught his robot to finish his sudoku, or the legions of sports enthusiasts who prefer fantasy football to the real deal. Case in point: One mega-geek decided that having a dog isn't enough, unless the pup resembled the Starship Enterprise. Seriously.

Other nuggets of tech-y filled goodness you may have missed this week:

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Best of the Week: PowerPoint Turns 25, Cat Earns Online Diploma

by Thomas Houston (RSS feed) — Aug 23rd 2009 at 4:00PM


This week saw the birthdays of two computing legends: PowerPoint, the bane of cubicle dwellers everywhere, turned 25, and the Unix operating system celebrated a fabulous 40. In news of the disturbing, scientists found that robots learned to selfishly mislead each other, and a gory Wales' public service announcement (featuring neck snaps, blood, and horror-movie screaming) warned teens of the dangers of texting while driving. In a New York City case that privacy experts are watching closely, a judge forced Google to reveal the identity of a blogger who insulted model Liskula Cohen online.
  • Proving that the intersection of cats and technology isn't limited merely to LOLCats, Oreo the kitty recently earned a high school diploma online, as part of an expose of diploma mills by the Better Business Bureau.
  • The New York Times reported that a new 12-year study reveals that students in online programs perform better on tests than those who study in real world classrooms.
  • Summer's almost over, meaning your favorite local breweries will be revamping their hoppy offerings. Combine those with the 'Arkeg' arcade cabinet, and you'll never have to worry about getting bored on those cool Fall evenings.
  • We checked out Ford's new MyKey system, which lets parents take all the fun out of the liberating 16th birthday by controlling maximum speed, the stereo, and more.
  • For some brain-boggling fun, don't miss our new list of Trippy Optical Illusions.

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Best of the Week: Wacky Net Connections, Study Shows Kids Search for Porn

by Leila Brillson (RSS feed) — Aug 16th 2009 at 4:19PM


Every second, millions of people log on, browse blogs, chat online, do research on a project or a topic they fancy. All Web users want to make a connection: to a band, an old friend, or a new love. Or a poor lady who will unsuspectingly cater to a baby-fetish, or even an extra-terrestrial who happens to have the same cell-provider as you. Whatever, we don't judge. Maybe you have bigger plans, like linking up with a nerdy virtual gang, hacking Sarah Palin and flooding obscenities across your enemies' servers. Anything anyone is looking for, thanks to the Web, it's out there. Just don't let your cat on the computer -- apparently, felines have a taste for child porn. Here are some other love connections you may have missed this week:

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Best of the Week: Internet Love for Weirdos, 45-Million-Year-Old Beer

by Leila Brillson (RSS feed) — Aug 9th 2009 at 5:26PM



Inalienable truth: The Web makes its users feel good. There is nothing like finding like-minded individuals out there and connecting with them, even if it's due to similar little-people fetishes or 'Star Trek' obsessions. This week, the Net has found ways to make its users feel even better, literally, over long distances and using touch-based light receptors. The cyber-joy brought to the world can actually be measured, say some researchers; they are using blogs and social networking to measure the nation's happiness quota. Not all are enthralled by our romance with the online world, though. Hip kids are tired of their parents sending love notes via sites like Facebook, and even the Catholic Church thinks we need to get out for a little one-on-one. Well, they might have a point. Here are some other nuggets of tech-y goodness you may have missed this week.

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