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Police Locate Lost, Drunk Man Using GPS Chip in His Cell Phone



GPS tracking software has been used to locate children, lost pets, and even Alzheimer's patients. According to recent reports out of Wisconsin, GPS has now added another group to the list: absent minded drunks.

Various news outlets in Wisconsin have reported the story of a 21-year old male, name withheld, who got lost riding his bicycle home from a party. Once the inebriated man realized he was lost, he made his way to the banks of the Mississippi River, and lay down for a rejuvenating nap. Still confused when he awoke, and with no idea as to his whereabouts, the man decided to enlist the help of local law enforcement, calling 911 shortly before 6am. Police contacted the man's cellular provider and used the GPS chip in his phone to pinpoint his location.


Officers found the wet and muddy party-goer, and gave the young man, whose blood alcohol level was still twice the legal limit, a ride home. As for disciplinary action, there were conflicting reports with one saying the man was issued a public intoxication ticket, and others claiming he got away with only a warning.



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Man Busted for DUI...for Driving a Motorized Bar Stool



Ohio resident Kile Wygle, 28, learned a difficult lesson this week. Be sure to sober up a little bit before you call the authorities, especially after you've wrecked your motorized barstool. Yep, the ingenious Wygle affixed a rigged-up chassis and a Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engine to a barstool, enabling him to cruise home at up to 40 miles per hour, all the while feeling like he never left his cushy seat at his favorite watering hole.

Unfortunately, on March 4th, Wygle took a spill at 20 miles per hour, and called 911 over worries about possible head injuries. When the officers arrived at the scene, Wygle reportedly told them, "I wrecked my barstool." Wygle's next door neighbor told the befuddled authorities that he had noticed someone driving a "strange" motorized machine. Strange? We say awesome.

After Wygle failed field sobriety tests, police charged him with driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license. Fortunately for Wygle (and for our entertainment), however, they didn't impound his homemade ride. We wish we could find footage of the unique arrest to see this baby in action, but, even without a demonstration, we'd be glad to purchase one of these slick stool-scooters, in case he wants to manufacture them to help offset legal fees. It does look like it needs a cup holder, though. [From: The Smoking Gun Via: BuzzFeed]

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Car Tech, Cell Phones

Woman Gets Six Years for Simultaneously Drinking, Driving, and Calling



This is one of those cases where the sheer stupidity involved is overwhelming. If, by now, you're not fully aware of the dangers involved with driving while intoxicated, then you're probably too dumb to actually pass a road test anyway. However, to combine drunkenness, speeding, and talking on your cell phone takes a whole new level of carelessness.

Sarah Taylor, now 23, won't be getting out of jail until she's almost 30 because she got behind the wheel of her Fiat while heavily intoxicated and proceeded to have a conversation on her cell phone. Taylor slammed head on into the Mini of Melanie Simon Lee, who lost control of her vehicle and landed in lanes of oncoming traffic on the M61 highway near Brindle, England. At the time of the impact, Lee's car was stopped in the middle of the road and passers-by stopped to help her. Taylor, preoccupied and drunk, didn't notice the initial accident and then plowed into Lee's Mini, which is what caused the ultimately fatal injuries.

Taylor plead guilty in court and will serve six years in prison. Um, okay, since when does drinking-induced manslaughter get someone only six years? Let's hope this triple threat never drinks, drives, or talks on her cell phoen again. [Source: Cellular News, via Textually]

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