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Tom Conlon

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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts

by Tom Conlon on November 10, 2009 at 12:53 PM


The cell phone has been draining the world's sperm supply for more than 35 years already. And yet, as ubiquitous as mobiles are today, so too are the dolts who still haven't grasped how to use one responsibly. For anyone who's ever gabbed at dinner, texted on the toilet, ruined a movie, or grossed out an elevator (just to name a few mobile no-nos), Switched presents the following guide of cell phone Dos and Don'ts. By all means, do us (and yourself) a favor and forward it on to your fondest offenders.
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 5

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM


DON'T Chat on the Job
Something troubling is happening to customer service in America. And, no, it's not that it's been deported to Mumbai. It's that on-the-clock cell phone use by service employees somehow come to be viewed as acceptable. Hey, guy in the red shirt: We're not sure which aisle at Target is home to bath towels, but maybe you can help us out once you're done recapping last night's game with your phone-friend. Hey, Starbucks barista: We didn't order a venti -- but hey, it's not your fault you're so darn popular. It's up to you bosses out there to sort this one out; ban all cell phone use while dealing with customers, period.
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 13

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM



DON'T Ruin the Movie
In addition to the power of oats, the Quakers believe in every human being's having an "inner light." (Hey, just like E.T.!) Unfortunately, increasingly bigger and brighter cell phone screens have strung us all with rather powerful outer lights, as well. And while you may be wise enough to know that talking on your cell phone during a movie is a big no-no, you might not realize that it's just as uncouth to illuminate the three rows in front and in back of you as you BBIM your BFF. Dude, movies are two hours, tops; you can't wait it out.
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 12

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM


DO Censor Your Handset
Some cell phone owners either completely missed the invention of the vibrating alert, or they want to unsubtly inform everyone around them of how incredibly busy they are. Which one are you? Not only does your phone ring every time a call comes in, but it sings for every text, e-mail, missed call, new voicemail, and tweet. Every. Fifteen. Seconds. And yet, we're the bad guy if we smack the phone out of your hand and tap dance on it. If you're at work, on a bus or train, at a restaurant or anywhere else where people are in earshot, put it on vibrate. Always.
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 11

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM


DON'T Put Us on Speaker
Short of shooting someone in the kneecaps, there's no quicker way to piss them off than to answer their call on speaker. What's going on? Did you want to impress us with the fact that you've got another person in the room? Congrats, you're important! Or are you going to use your hands to type e-mails while we chat? That's awfully considerate of you! Unless you're Ari Gold or missing limbs, save the speakerphone for alone time.
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 10

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM


DO Watch Where You're Going
In many states, it's illegal to text and drive. Yet it's perfectly lawful for you to SMS and e-mail while haphazardly walking into people, obstacles, and even traffic. It's all fun and games until someone falls down a manhole. (We call it instant karma.) But the point is, instead of weaving like a drunk on the sidewalk, step to the side, type your message, and then get on with the walk. [Teenager Falls Down Manhole While Texting and Walking]
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 9

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM


DON'T Include Us in Your Conversation
Exhibitionism in its worst form (Ashton Kutcher's Twitter life aside) is when you answer your cell phone in our presence and, as if that wasn't rude enough, proceed to try and loop us into your convo as if we're just dying to be included. You do this by rolling your eyes, whispering to us with your hand over the mouthpiece or generally looking to us for reactions to things we'd need Ben Stiller ears to hear. Don't do it; you're not fooling anyone with your faux inclusiveness, and really it's just annoying. Pick one person to speak with and act accordingly (see above).
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 8

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM


DO Keep it to Yourself
It must be the tight quarters that lead some cell phone users to confuse elevators with confessional booths. How else can you explain one's willingness to disclose personal and explicit details to a box crammed full of perfect strangers? You know who you are. You step in saying something like, "I'm getting on an elevator, so I might lose you." And, though obviously aware you're in an Otis and not a sorority house, you go on to report -- for all to hear -- the particulars surrounding last night's sexual encounter. Keep it in your pants! (The phone, that is.)
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 7

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM


DON'T Double Talk
There are a lot of you Bluetooth-strapped narcissists out there who think you're so amazingly efficient that you can carry on two conversations at once: one with someone face-to-face, and another with the person on the other end of your nerd dongle. No one can ever tell whom you're actually addressing at any given moment -- us, them, a drive-through attendant, God -- but that's just how VIPs roll, right? At least signal to and then turn away from others when you're taking a call. But, better yet, just leave the Bluetooth in the car.
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 6

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM



DO Excuse Yourself From Dinner
With so many sharp knives in such close proximity, we'd have thought you'd be at least a little cautious about texting or talking at the table. Yet some folks are just so self-absorbed, all the polite signs and dagger-throwing stares in the world won't penetrate the deflector shield of hubris they've built around themselves. Don't be a d-bag; take the call later, or excuse yourself and hit the pavement.
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 4

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM

DO Leave the Room Time is valuable ... well, your time, anyway. Others'? Not so much, it seems. That's why you think it's OK to push the pause button on life itself in order to answer an incoming call -- without excusing yourself from the room. While you and your mystery caller catch up on old times as vintage as last night, you effectively hold everyone else in the room hostage -- ... Read more »
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 3

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM

DON'T Speak From thy Throne Cell phones, like sandwiches, rarely belong in the bathroom. But, maybe you didn't get the memo. You've mistaken those three-quarter toilet-stall walls for a fortress of solitude, affording you absolute privacy to not only clack away furiously on your phone keys, but to also carry on full conversations -- often punctuated by uproarious, albeit strained laughter. ... Read more »
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Tech Etiquette: Cell Phone Dos and Don'ts 2

by Tom Conlon on August 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM

DO Know Your Own Ringtone Some cell phone users are either blissfully oblivious or selectively deaf. Your cringe-inducing factory-set ringtone rings and rings and rings to the knuckle-whitening annoyance of everyone around you. And yet, despite hearing this very same chime emanate from your purse or pocket no fewer than ten times a day, you act like every time is the first time. You look ... Read more »
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Celebrity BlackBerry Addicts, Part Deux 16

by Tom Conlon on July 23, 2009 at 01:59 PM

Jon Cryer "No ma'am. The kid is the 'half.' Please add me to your do-not-call list." Next >> 'Celebrity Blackberry Addicts' Celebrities on Twitter Recently, media personalities have taken to celebrity Twitterers like fat kids to the neighborhood ice cream truck. But don't be fooled, dear readers. We here at Switched are the fattest on the block. So, without ... Read more »
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Celebrity BlackBerry Addicts, Part Deux 15

by Tom Conlon on July 23, 2009 at 01:59 PM

Don Cheedle "What's funny is that my agent told me 'Hotel for Dogs' was a sequel to 'Hotel Rwanda.'" << Back Next >> ... Read more »
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