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Worst Celebrity Blogs

by Alon Avdi, posted May 8th 2008 at 12:52PMFeatured Story

Earlier this year, we brought you the first part of a seminal study into the celebrity blogging phenomenon. Best Celebrity Blogs compiled the best examples we found of famous people using their status to reach out to fans and share a piece of their world, whether for a good cause or maybe just to look into the online mirror and tell us who is the fairest of them all. This week, we happily bring you the Worst Celebrity Blogs out there in the teeming blogosphere. Some of these sites take the prize for incoherence, while others just disappoint, and still others make you consider violence (despite your normally outgoing disposition). Regardless of the reason, these blogs are the worst we have to offer...



Roseanne Barr

We have some vague recollection of Roseanne confessing that she has multiple personalities on her long-buried talk show a number of years back. We think she was on to something, as this blog could be the key evidence to any plea of not guilty by reason of insanity. Raging posts supporting Hillary Rodham Clinton's presidential candidacy (with friends like this...) are interspersed with quotables about some Goddess "lifting the veil" (Huh? is right.) and a random nude painting she refers to as "Fat Butt." That being the case, we're willing to bet that two of her personalities are Madam Mix-A-Lot and Rush Limbaugh's liberal doppelganger.

Worst Celebrity Blogs 2

by Alon Avdi, posted May 8th 2008 at 12:01PM



Victoria Beckham

Ah, narcissism. It could be said that blogging is all about people indulging themselves in...themselves. Victoria Beckham, former Spice Girl and wife of LA Galaxy soccer star David Beckham, reinforces such a notion with a blog that features endless photos of herself in Paris, on Ugly Betty, at Fashion Week, on magazine covers, going on ad nauseum. Eschewing the idea that a blog might discuss, opine, inform or share the deeply personal, Beckham's blog takes the cake for most vanity ("This is how you pose for pictures," she tell us.). If you want a fun activity, though, just go through the pictures and see how many you count before there is an image of someone other than Posh Spice.



Worst Celebrity Blogs 3

by Alon Avdi, posted May 8th 2008 at 12:01PM



Courtney Love

Courtney Love's disaster of a blog makes William Faulkner's stream-of-consciousness technique look straightforward. The former frontwoman for the now-defunct rock band Hole fully embraces tangents and rambling in her posts, discussing important things like her bangs and a messy financial situation in one extra long sentence("i have faith that the integrity of the three men i must depend on to get the facts of this thrown out thrown uyp psyhco puzzle will communicate to each other- i must say Sparkarts Naveen is a dammed GENIUS and theres a reason to not have forums at onesx website- its just a bucmnh of trouble why not offer more music and cool merch"). Large, indecipherable blocks of text, misspellings ("absouloute") and a general incoherence lead us to crown Courtney Love's journal as the Blog Most Likely to Implode.

Worst Celebrity Blogs 5

by Alon Avdi, posted May 8th 2008 at 12:01PM



Pat Sajak

Who would've thunk it? The host of Wheel of Fortune, the quintessential American game show, is an avid blogger. Sajak earns our nod for worst celebrity blog for repeatedly taking a heroic stand against reason. Unfortunately for scientists and the experts who brought you the Kyoto Protocol, one of good old Pat's posts denies humankind's hand in creating global warming and seeks to spread the truth to all who will read. Not to mention the fact that he feels like it's so hard espousing his views when the doggone liberal media distorts his -- we mean, the truth all the time. And don't get him started on the evil internet...

Worst Celebrity Blogs 6

by Alon Avdi, posted May 8th 2008 at 12:01PM



Rosie O'Donnell

Wait, didn't Rosie O'Donnell recently make our Best Celebrity Blogs story? She did! But we decided that Rosie's work is a two-headed monster, equal parts wonderful and loony. Those of you that caught our "Best of" piece might remember how scared, lonely and used we felt when Rosie tried to channel Sylvia Plath. For the rest of you, these lines from a post called "No More" should explain why Rosie's inner poet should stay inside and not play with the other kids:

searching
from near and far
an HDTV
some fancy car
restaurant hot spot
drug de jour
too much now
there is no more


Worst Celebrity Blogs 7

by Alon Avdi, posted May 8th 2008 at 12:01PM



Jeff Bridges

Jeff Bridges makes the list as a lesson in potential squandered to all the youngsters out there. The man who brought you The Dude in The Big Lebowski maintains a blog that conceptually seems kind of cool. Various sketches of things like surfing penguins and a doodle of Bridges succumbing to a dental chair make up the site. Unfortunately, his Dudeness cops out on us by linking these drawings to news sites, trailers and Amazon.com pages instead of giving us more personal, inventive substance with his style. Take note out there: If you tantalize us with an artsy, original blog façade, you should link to more of yourself, not less. Where were you when we needed you, Jeff?

Worst Celebrity Blogs 8

by Alon Avdi, posted May 8th 2008 at 12:01PM



Margaret Cho

Margaret Cho's online body of work might not have made the cut, but then we found the all-important menstrual stain post, as well as the Mr. Cameltoe unitard layout. Perhaps it was the blog entry in which she confessed to holding herself back from a "throw down" with an elderly woman that made us decide that the comedian was perfect for our list of infamy. And that was just January...

Worst Celebrity Blogs 9

by Alon Avdi, posted May 8th 2008 at 12:01PM



Ross the Jay Leno Intern

You might know him as Ross the Jay Leno Intern. We see as him as the guy that might make you reconsider your relationship with sharp objects. Many of his blog posts are of the video variety, and unfortunately for everyone north of two-years-old, Ross has affectionately dubbed the collection "Talky Blog." Just to drive the stake in further, an assortment of text-based posts actually go on about Talky Blog Awards, or they just kill us by introducing more Talky. We found the one about an ill coworker entitled "Daria is Sick" was really relevant to all of us. If you live in Ross World, that is...



Worst Celebrity Blogs 4

by Alon Avdi, posted May 8th 2008 at 12:01PM



Avril Lavigne

Turns out that Avril Lavigne isn't so complicated. It seems that her handlers got ahold of her MySpace account and convinced her that ceaseless promos and tour date info actually constitutes a blog. Sorry to burst the bubble, but a non-blog blog just doesn't cut it, especially when the only entry supposedly written by the rock star herself discusses concert ticket availability. But she does hope to see us at the show...

Strange But True Cell Phone Stories

by Alon Avdi, posted Apr 24th 2008 at 12:08PMFeatured Story

In this day and age, owning a cell phone is about as special as using your tooth brush every night before bed. For some people, however, these gadget must-haves cause more trouble than they're worth. For others, they are literally a life-saver. Either way, they often make life just a bit more odd. To celebrate the weird world cell phones have created, we present to you Strange But True Cell Phone Stories.



The one with the guy who gets text messages from his late wife...

In Ghost, a 1990 romantic tearjerker, Patrick Swayze's character needed Oda Mae Brown to contact his beloved wife from beyond the grave. These days, it seems as though the deceased can stay in contact without a middleman. Well, sort of. Englander Frank Jones claims that his wife, Sadie, has been sending him text messages from the afterlife, leaving no return number behind. Turns out the family buried Sadie with her prized cell phone, and now Jones believes his wife's spirit has a hankering to reach out and touch someone. Here's hoping Oda Mae finds a new line of work...

Worst Celebrity Blogs 4

by Alon Avdi, posted Apr 21st 2008 at 12:01PM



Avril Lavigne

Turns out that Avril Lavigne isn't so complicated. It seems that her handlers got ahold of her MySpace account and convinced her that ceaseless promos and tour date info actually constitutes a blog. Sorry to burst the bubble, but a non-blog blog just doesn't cut it, especially when the only entry supposedly written by the rock star herself discusses concert ticket availability. But she does hope to see us at the show...

Strange But True Cell Phone Stories

by Alon Avdi, posted Apr 21st 2008 at 6:43AM



The one with the $22,000 downloads of 'Friends' episodes....

Whoever said Friends don't cost a thing? A man from the United Kingdom received a bill for £11,000 (about $22,000) after his wife downloaded four episodes of the popular TV show from his cell phone. Apparently, she began downloading shortly before the man left for business in Germany, where roaming charges made the bill skyrocket as the downloads continued. The good news is that one of the episodes the couple downloaded was the one where – eh, never mind.

Strange But True Cell Phone Stories

by Alon Avdi, posted Apr 21st 2008 at 6:39AM



The one in which a grandmother fights off a Taser attack with her cell phone....

It sure makes sense that they call this great country of ours the Home of the Brave, considering what a grandmother from Speake, Alabama went through this past February. It appears that an intruder tried to force his way into the elderly woman's home, and, according to police, even tried to taser her in the process. The astounding part of the story is that she claims that she was tasered, but managed to use the cell phone she was carrying to fight him off. The reports are sketchy as to how the woman shrugged off a possible taser jolt and sent the criminal packing with nothing more than a mobile handset, but we can say that we see a WWE appearance in her near future for sure.

Strange But True Cell Phone Stories

by Alon Avdi, posted Apr 21st 2008 at 6:30AM



The one with the bank robber who couldn't be bothered to get off the phone...

Here's one for the multi-tasker in all of us: A bank in Alabama was recently held up by a robber who didn't find it necessary to get off of the phone while committing the crime. Surveillance footage shows the man pointing a firearm at a teller and demanding money, all while conducting a conversation on his cell phone. All we want to know is, why didn't Pacino think of this one in 'Heat?'

Strange But True Cell Phone Stories

by Alon Avdi, posted Apr 21st 2008 at 6:03AM



The one with the $85,000 cell phone bill....


No joke: A Canadian man was hit with an $85,000 cell phone bill after buying a new phone and what he thought was a $10 unlimited data plan. While Piotr Staniaszek imagined that tethering the phone to his laptop and downloading to his hearts delight was kosher, wireless carrier Bell Mobility had other ideas. The service provider informed the oil worker that using the phone as a modem was not covered under his plan, and it proceeded to charge him on a per-kilobyte basis. As a token of "goodwill," the company eventually lowered the bill to only $3,243. Something tells us Staniaszek wasn't impressed by the evil corporate discount...



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