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Parents everywhere can now hack into their kids' Facebook accounts without feeling even an ounce of guilt -- because a cop in New Jersey says it's okay. Mahwah Police Chief James Batelli recently told NBC New York that all parents should use keystroke-logging spyware to keep tabs on every site their children visit, and every status or photo they post to Facebook. "When it comes down to safety and welfare of your child, I don't think any parent would sacrifice anything to make sure nothing happens to their children," Batelli said. "If it means buying an $80 package of software and putting it on and seeing some inappropriate words you don't want your child to say. Then that's part of society."
Batelli, who has his own teenage daughter to worry about, seems particularly concerned about the sexual predators and creeps that lurk in Facebook's seedier outskirts. "If you sugar-coat it, parents just don't get it," he said. "Read the paper any day of the week and you'll see an abduction [or] a sexual assault that's the result of an Internet interaction or a Facebook comment." Young teens, he says, should be watched even more closely. "I think if a 12-year old has a Facebook profile her mom and dad need to have access to it," Batelli opined.
Family psychologist Dr. Jerry Kassinove agrees that parents should use cyber-nanny software to block certain sites from their children, but he thinks that spyware could spawn serious problems in a household. "It sort of sets up a situation of distrust," Kassinove explained. "First of all, you're encouraging your child that it's okay to lie because you're lying yourself and you're conducting some secret action and they're not aware of it."
According to Batelli, though, safety should always trump trust. "Trust sounds good. It's a good cliché," says Batelli. "[But] to stick your head in the sand and think that, in 9th, 10th, 8th grade, your child is not going to be exposed to alcohol, is not going to be exposed to drugs is kind of a naïve way to go about it."
View more videos at: http://www.nbcnewyork.com.
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Comments
5
Subscribe to commentseMaxFeb 14th 2011 10:14AM
"Trust sounds good. It's a good cliché," says Batelli. "[But] to stick your head in the sand and think that, in 9th, 10th, 8th grade, your child is not going to be exposed to alcohol, is not going to be exposed to drugs is kind of a naïve way to go about it.""
OR maybe you can educate your child to make the right decisions, and ensure they have the understand on how to handle the situation properly. THEN you can also raise them properly from the start so they feel comfortable discussing anything with you, as well as know you are their to help them out of any situation so they do not need to sneak around you.
NOTHING NEW is being introduced by Facebook, or online communication. These are the same problems people, and children have faced for decades. And, as always, a solid education, understanding, and support system are the best way to prepare your child to handle any situation.
period.
Paul DuncanFeb 14th 2011 10:45AM
Damn skippy.
Paul DuncanFeb 14th 2011 10:58AM
You can educate your kid, hope to "ensure they understand and know how to handle a situation", and trust they'll do that.
Or you could do the responsible thing and ADDITIONALLY monitor your kids; they're your responsibility and you need to be there as a support system.
I'd rather be overly informed than under-informed because at the end of the day - I'm the parent and they're the kid and the buck stops at me.
Kids keep secrets - they have secret lives just like you do from your kids. If you think your kid doesn't, even with all your awesome powers of "solid education" - you're naive.
This cop is right and more power to him.
raptorspikeFeb 15th 2011 8:46PM
Or, do the crazy thing my parents did. Until the kid is 18, the parents get the user names and password of all websites they're subscribed to. Otherwise, they're cut off unless on a public computer.
LucaApr 7th 2011 1:51PM
Or you do what my father and step mother do with my younger brother and sister.
1. The computer is NOT in their rooms but in the den.
2. They put on passwords that aren't totally obvious so the kids can't log into the computer without one of them present and then it's into a locked user account that limits what they can do.
3. They were allowed facebook accounts but their parents have the passwords to the accounts so they can't log themselves in. Plus all security questions are answers only their parents have and the email accounts are ones only their parents can get into so they can't change them. Same with Twitter etc
4. There is a firm rule set that if they are caught getting on friends computers and setting up accounts on Twitter, Facebook etc (and their parents watch the postings of their friends for indications) they will be grounded until they are 18. No playing sports at school, no after school league, no dating, no getting their drivers license when they are 16, no getting a job when they are 16 and no more computer access for anything but school work and Mom or Dad or another responsible adult will be sitting right there the whole time and if said person has to leave the room even to go pee, the computer will be logged out until the adult returns.
sounds militant sure but my parents want the kids to learn to be responsible and would rather be in their faces about the rules than doing this kind of behind their backs crap.
And they even wrote it all up as a contract and made the kids sign it. So they can't claim they didn't know the rules.