Scientists Pursue Seamless Sneaker-Tracking GPS Software

by Warren Riddle on December 6, 2010 at 03:50 PM

The unrestrained GPS-integration movement spread to shoes last year, but sneaker-tracking technology has proven vulnerable to certain expected obstacles, like out-of-coverage areas. Apparently determined to ensure that no shoe goes unnoticed -- ever -- researchers from North Carolina State University are pursuing the development of portable footwear radar sensors.

NC State's official study, published in IEEE Transactions on Microwave Theory and Techniques, focuses on a "portable radar sensor prototype" that "attaches to a shoe." That radar relays a signal to an integrated navigation computer, which measures the distance between the shoe and the ground in order to determine whether the foot is stationary or in mid-step.

The technology could help to rectify other fallible GPS aids, like inertial measurement units, which help to track movements without an active GPS signal. Since GPS-equipped kicks definitely provide a beneficial service, particularly to children and the elderly, creating an effective and ceaseless tracking system seems like an obvious technological move. But, as the past has repeatedly demonstrated, when it comes to GPS accuracy -- nothing is ever fool (or foot) proof.

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Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

Despite the dozens of iconic characters 'Saturday Night Live' has spawned over its 35 years, the most consistently funny and memorable moments have come from its hallmark spoof ads. After striking comedic gold in its very first season with a sketch about Mel's Char Palace, SNL's writers soon keyed into the parodic potential of America's longstanding obsession with technology, resulting in Dan Aykroyd's seminal Ronco send-up, the Super Bass-O-Matic '76. Since then, tech continues to serve as a golden goose for the series, allowing the writers to celebrate -- or stick it to -- an endless variety of ad campaigns, products or social trends. Switched sifted through the three decades of tech-related parody commercials available online, and came up with our top ten list for the ages. (Our caveat: NBC has cracked down so unmercifully that virtually no SNL clips exist anywhere other than on Hulu.com and NBC.com, which means all of them have brief ads. Sorry kids!) Hit up the comments for any winners we missed or ones you'd like to nominate.

Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

10. Woomba, 2004
Short of diapers and taking dumps, SNL's most frequent object of spoofery is the ad world's unbridled passion for cringe-inducing narratives about female "freshness." While we'll admit this spot's best jokes come mostly from Tina Fey's extensive vocabulary of lady-bit euphemisms, the repurposing of a mini-Roomba (in pink, naturally) is a pretty nice touch. Until it isn't.

Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

9. Me Harmony, 2005
Thankfully, the firehose of e-Harmony ads have faded in recent years, but the distressingly giddy "real life" couples and creepily confident relationship guru Dr. Warren were begging for a beatdown. SNL's simple parody is equally creepy, but definitively answers any lingering questions we had about which cast members could pull off cross-dressing. (You be the judge.)

Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

8. Mom Translator, 2009
One of the few fake gadgets that we actually long for, the Mom Translator is more of a mild social satire than a dig at a real product or company. (That said, we have a suggestion should this thing ever go into production: Internet terminology 101.) We especially love the ultra-specific, ultra-contemporary connection between a gossipy fascination with celebrities and a technological solution for anything and everything. Let's hope this inspires a real-world KIRF.

Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

7. Bug-Off, 1995
As pajama-clad kids, we were always baffled by the incessant ads for Raid and pest extermination services. Why were they on TV during Saturday morning cartoons? Is our house really a horror show, infested with deadly, bloodsucking bugs? And what the hell is up with the redundant tag line, "Kills bugs dead"? can you kill bugs alive, or only partly dead? Like a bizarro Orkin man, Will Ferrell's noir-ish salesman takes the fetishized, hard-boiled sales pitch of those spots to a level beyond the pale. The awesomely ridiculous pale.

Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

6. T-Mobile Fav 5, 2008
One of the few spoof ads performed live instead of being pre-taped, SNL took a postmodern look at the ostensibly witty but actually mildly disturbing subtext of this original T-Mobile spot. We laughed when we saw the original ad, too, but SNL makes a pretty compelling point. (Note to self: remember to change MyFav 5.)

Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

5. NCI-phone company, 1993
After the government broke up AT&T's telephone monopoly in the '80s, a host of smaller companies like Sprint and MCI scrambled to lure customers. MCI was particularly dogged, using mock AT&T commercials and even hiring actors who had previously been in AT&T ads. The heated ad war between the companies, each one claiming to offer the best service (hilariously taken to its logical extreme in this ad), would pay off for MCI, which eventually became the second largest telco in the U.S. Oh, and it also merged with Worldcom, and, in spectacular fashion, became the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history back in 2002. And David Spade? He ended up doing commercials for years for 1-800-COLLECT -- which was owned by MCI -- right around the time this ad aired.

Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

4. Ernestine, 1976
Ask anyone over the age of 45 about this ad, featuring comic genius Lily Tomlin, and they'll sit you down to tell you exactly where they were when they first saw it -- likely with the same clarity and emotion as others use to describe the moon landing and Nixon's resignation. Despite its obviously dated scenario (seeing as we don't remember the last time we spoke with a human operator), we still take comfort knowing that the phone company has been royally, gleefully screwing people over for four decades now.

Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

3. Kannon AE-1 Camera, 1983
Expertly walking the razor's edge between bad taste and hilarity, this pitch-perfect send-up parodies a long-running series of '80s Canon commercials with an identical setup. (Hey, it's not making fun of blind people if an actual blind guy is in it, right?) We're impressed that, while the style of the commercial is dated, the edgy humor still kills today.

Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

2. Royal Deluxe II, 1977
Testimonial ads are as old as advertising itself, and have long been a staple of car advertising, especially back in the '60s and '70s. SNL's absurd, outrageous version deftly dissected that phenomenon, delivered cuttingly accurate parody, and basically ushered in the age of irony in one fell swoop.

Greatest SNL Fake Tech Commercials

Tags: gps, GpsShoes, GpsTracking, InertialMeasurementUnits, NorthCarolinaStateUniversity, science, sneakers, top, wearable

source: LiveScience

Comments

MadeleineTDec 7th 2010 12:51AM

Neutral

I can't think of a more intrusive and potentially dangerous thing to do. How do researchers put something in your shoe like this without telling you, you re actually being stalked. I just sent a pair of shoes back , they were made in China they are made like square boxes and just as comfortable, they gave me a rash on one foot, a bad enough one that I notified the store I bought them in and I had to go to the Dr. twice and put messy cremes on it, it went away and I stopped using the medicine, now I see its coming back, I now have a "condition" how do I know its not from a tracking device? I never had it before, microwave? radar? going into your foot? does this sound like somehting you would want in your shoe or on your foot? We have no shoe industry here anymore, all gone to China, now I know why, they would put anything in their shoe, what do they care? Now I will have to buy shoes from Frye or some place like that and pay through the nose but at least I won't have some nutty professor tracking my every move. Please don't tell me this is to protect the elderly, if they are that old they wouldn't be out on their own and they also have devices for them they can wear around their necks, as for kids, they have devices you can put on their wrists which sets off an alarm when they go too far away from you or if they are lost or you forgot them in your car which is when they came up with that idea.No, this is to watch our every move. There is no excuse for this nazi behavior. I have never been so shocked in my life. How dare they. Now we need someone who will come up with a device to tell if you have a radar chip in your shoe and how to remove it, like a radar detector for the speed traps, then remove it. No way can this be good for you. I would like to know who gave them the authority to do this .

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jwDec 7th 2010 5:29AM

Neutral

This is nuts...Let's just put a chip into every born human at birth....That way we can pop in on you whenever we'd like....Gotta get the chinese out of our manufacturing cycle period....

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