Porn for the Holidays: Sumptuous Gifts You Want (But Won't Ask For)

"Porn" has a rather diffuse meaning, nowadays. Nevermind your expertly stashed bookmarks folder (hidden under News>Miscellaneous>Macramé Blogs); we're referring to the even more superficial variety. You've probably heard the terms "architecture porn," "interior design porn," and, lately, "tech porn." As eye candy, these ultra-luxe items exist to titillate, to make us salivate and desire. And, if you think about it, porn really has no price -- as long as it excites.

That is to say, price and style are not always commensurate, and the tech porn of 2010 falls between minor splurge and exquisite luxury. Though you may have the good sense to stay cost-savvy and button your lips when sending Santa your wish list, we know these sexy rides and indulgent setups are what you really want. Don't worry, we won't tell; it's okay to sneak away from unwrapping socks and scented candles to peek at the forbidden fruit in this guide. Price is no object in our fantasy world. What matters most in porn, of course, is good looks.

Arcade 80's Trunk by Pinel et Pinel

Yes, even the outrageously rich love video games. For only €13,500 (about $17,900), you can pick up Pinel et Pinel's Arcade 80's Trunk, a calfskin-clad, 1080p LCD arcade machine, which comes preloaded with 60 classic games like 'Pac-Man,' '1942' and 'Space Invaders.' Oh, it's also available in crocodile skin, should you prefer.

Jambox for Jawbone by Yves Béhar

The name behind this portable speaker is as provocative as the box's gorgeous exterior. Developed by nonpareil celebrity designer Yves Béhar and his company Fuseproject, this tiny speakerphone-cum-speaker wirelessly connects to mobile devices via Jawbone, and boasts "an innovative moving-wall passive bass radiator and airtight enclosure -- the only one of its kind in a compact speaker." Everyone in the office will squirm in envy when you switch your conference calls to hands-free. (And, at only $199, this is truly budget porn.)

NetWorks Radio by Tivoli Audio

Tivoli Audio is known for its radios' simple, clean designs and fuss-free interfaces. The NetWorks range is no different, sporting a near-bare face for serious Internet radio addicts. While lower-end versions certainly exist, we prefer the cherry and gold radio, which can also wirelessly sync with your PC to stream music, or be combined with other speakers, subwoofers and audio inputs to create a more expansive sound system. But after spending $750 for this Lilliputian standalone (which is less than nine inches tall!), you really don't need much more, do you?

O6HD Music Server by Olive

Devoted audiophiles probably wouldn't think much of the Olive O6HD music server's price tag ($4,999) once they get a gander at its color touch-screen and gorgeous aluminum shell. The 2-terabyte server is Wi-Fi-ready, sports a pair of 24-bit / 192 kHz Burr-Brown PCM1792 modules, and features about a zillion inputs and outputs (both analog and digital, natch). For the "old schoolers," it even has a poppy CD-RW drive.

Automower Color by Husqvarna

Among other things, Husqvarna manufactures ridiculously 'luxe lawnmowers. The Color Collection of Automowers sets the bar for a standard that we didn't really know existed: high-end, robotic garden tools. (Think "Roomba for the grass.") At around $2,700, the Automower's price competes with those of lower-end riding mowers, but it can only trim less than an acre on a full charge. Still, it runs on either electric or solar power (with a $3,000 tag for the latter), and they look a hell of a lot nicer than that bright green John Deere.

Ceramic Speaker by Nendo

This Byzantine square is actually a speaker composed of one-millimeter-thick ceramic. A collaboration between Nendo and Kanazawa-based potter Mitsuke Masagasu (whose traditional red glaze designs inspired the façade), the speaker is made of ceramic substrate, a material typically used in electrical components and rarely exposed to human eyes. Since it's a one-off piece commissioned by the 21st Century Museum of Contemporary Art in Kanazawa, you'll probably need to be a high-rolling collector if you ever want to get your hands on it.

Leica M9 Titanium by Walter de'Silva

Leica's M9 is already the porniest DSLR camera on the market, fetching $7,000 from only the most serious photographers. (Read our in-depth writeup here.) But, Leica decided to up the photographic ante and team with chief Volkswagen designer Walter de'Silva, who recast the M9 in titanium and Nappa leather, and added a sapphire crystal screen. Each piece in the limited run of 500 is only $26,500.

Sayl Chair for Herman Miller by Yves Béhar

As we've said before, there's a reason that Herman Miller chairs make it into the permanent collection at MoMA. Another Yves Béhar design -- the sumptuously futuristic Sayl office chair -- adds to the legacy left by Aeron, but won't run you a king's ransom. (The plain models are more reasonably priced, but we like the porno flare of the $679 colored versions.) The PVC-free chair is eco-friendly with 93-percent recyclable materials, and an ergonomic mesh back that provides decadent but affordable comfort.

Model XL by Geneva Sound Systems

Two thousand bucks isn't much to spend on a real sound system -- but it is for a single, standalone unit that functions mainly as an iPod dock. But there's a reason you've probably seen Geneva's range of docks and speakers over the past couple of years; their beautifully minimal design and high level of functionality make them especially useful and entirely unobtrusive. (Each one serves as a dock, CD player, amp, speaker and digital radio, all at once.) Just stick it between your Eames chair and Cappellini couch...

PC by Munk Bogballe

Who says Apple should have the monopoly on beautiful laptop design? Henrik Sørig Thomsen, the designer behind Bang & Olufsen's BeoTalk (among other sound systems), teamed with Munk Bogballe to craft these sleek £4,700 (roughly $7,300) PCs out of laser-cut aluminum, calfskin and mahogany. While the interior specs (which you can check out here) aren't much to write home about, you'll probably be plenty busy fretting over whether your On/Off button should come inlaid with pearl, gold or emeralds -- for only $1,046 more, of course.

Edition 10 Headphones by Ultrasone

Sheepskin leather, matte-finished ruthenium and polished Zebrano wood combine to make Ultrasone's Edition 10 Headphones some of the most decadent but understated audio gadgets around. These German-crafted beauties sport Ultrasone's S-Logic Plus technology, and deliver a frequency range of 5 to 45,000Hz -- good news for the most attentive of audiophiles. That is to say, audiophiles with deep pockets -- as these babies run $2,750.

iPad Cases by Tod's

Out of concern for good taste, we would never recommend one of those blinged-out, gold or diamond-encrusted iPads to anyone (even if Karl Lagerfeld apparently collects them). But, if the caviar-slurping socialites among you require a bit of classical luxury to dress up your nakedly gauche gadget, go for one of the croc-skin iPad cases by Tod's -- which, at $4,900, is roughly ten times more pricey than the 'Pad itself. (Budget-conscious bag fiends can pick up the plain calfskin case for only $495.)

Digital Dreams by Brand von Egmond

Leave it to the Dutch to turn the most artless piece of consumer tech -- the digital photo frame -- into a freakishly futuristic piece of lighting. Netherlands-based Brand Von Egmond (veritable master of haute lighting) calls Digital Dreams "a lighting sculpture [that] creates a very bare chandelier with a deep soul." If you want to stick to that whole "deep soul" idea, we suggest forgoing the cat pictures and the snaps from your cousin's Hooter's birthday bash.

2011 Veyron Super Sport by Bugatti

Remember how we mentioned that business about "budget porn" earlier? Well, now we'll shut up as we present the $2.58 million 2011 Bugatti Veyron Super Sport. This beautiful monster boasts a 1,200 peak horsepower, sixteen-cylinder, quad-turbo engine, with hand-made Michelin tires that cost over $42,000 per set. Realizing that the Super Sport is capable of speeds up to 258 mph, we're both a little motion sick and ill with want just looking at it. Our compatriots at Autoblog got a hands-on, and we are positively verdant with envy.

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