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Although freak shows have all but disappeared from modern carnivals -- since conjoined twins are now typically sawed in half, and "dog-faced" sufferers of hypertrichosis just get frequent waxes -- we can still look to the Guinness Book of World Records to expose the Earth's strangest and least-marketable talents and afflictions. While it may not be as lofty an achievement as Most Rattlesnakes Bathed With, the Fastest Text Message record is no different in nature -- and it has recently been broken by Melissa Thompson of Salford, England.As much a marketing bid by Samsung as it was a world record attempt, Thompson used the SWYPE keypad on the manufacturer's Galaxy S phone to gain the new title. In doing so, she edged out one Franklin Page, who set the record earlier this year (also on a SWYPE-enabled Samsung phone). Thompson typed, "The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human" in 25.94 seconds, beating Page's record of 35.54 seconds for the same passage. But using SWYPE kind of seems like cheating, due to the interface's ability to input letters at breakneck speed. We demand text-message-record standardization and oversight! What if that guy who earned the record for Most Toilet Seats Broken Over The Head had used some kind of newfangled, breakaway toilet seat? Outrage.
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Comments
6
Subscribe to commentsjbigmacdaddy74Aug 24th 2010 10:26AM
WOW what a accomplishment,That and $2 will get her a coffee at Starbucks.
I love Pat GreenAug 24th 2010 2:36PM
She needs a life.
Blonde BeautyAug 24th 2010 4:01PM
That is useless talent! lol. Here's some more useless talent: I can say the alphabet backwards in less than 9 seconds! lol. just a useless whatever...
Blonde BeautyAug 24th 2010 4:02PM
Yeah, she does need a life and she does need to get over to Starbucks to text her little fingers off!! lol
DebAug 25th 2010 2:34AM
Oh brother now the next TV game show will be "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN TEXT"!!!! LMAO
Greg JosephsAug 27th 2010 3:27PM
Wow, our opposing digits ARE good for something after all. She looks so proud too! She should get together with that hot dog eating champion and they could have a useless life together. Maybe then, they can have kids and teach them useless ways to waste their lives too.