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Dying on Facebook Is More Complicated Than It Seems
Last month, more than 6 million senior citizens joined Facebook, representing the fastest-growing age demographic among the site's entire membership base. With this surge in elderly users, though, comes a surge in dying users -- something that Facebook has struggled to handle with grace. As part of its effort to connect us with people with we fall out of touch with, Facebook uses a system of algorithms to cook up a list of "friends" we should re-connect with. The only problem, though, is that the algorithms have a hard time determining when someone has passed away. "Sometimes it's quite comforting when their faces show up," 37-year-old Tamu Townsend told the New York Times. "But at some point it doesn't become comforting to see that. The service is telling you to reconnect with someone you can't." Others, however, derive a unique sense of relief seeing deceased friends pop up on their homepages. Courtney Purvin, for example, was initially startled to see the image of a recently passed away family member, but eventually came to appreciate the reminder. "It made me start talking about him and thinking about him, so that was good," she says. "But it was definitely a little creepy."
Whereas the site used to immediately erase a user's profile upon confirmation of his or her death, it now allows members to turn deceased friends' pages into memorial spaces. Even that system, though, has its flaws. For starters, the option isn't well publicized, and requires users to fill out a form that asks them to provide proof of death, which is then reviewed by a Facebook staff member. Even after the memorial space is set up, the dead user cannot add new friends, meaning that family members who aren't on Facebook can't access their late relatives' photos or Wall posts.
Facebook's most worrisome problem, though, remains simply determining whether or not a member has actually died. With one employee for every 350,000 members, the social network has begun exploring new, automated mechanisms to detect when one of its users passes on. Spokeswoman Meredith Chin says the company is now considering implementing new software that can scan profiles for key phrases like 'Rest in peace,' or 'I miss you.' Yet even that proposal could prove vulnerable to pranks or false alarms -- a reality of which Chin seems fully aware. "[W]e can't get it wrong," Chin acknowledges. "We have to do it correctly." [From: New York Times]
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Comments
28
Subscribe to commentseMaxJul 19th 2010 9:40AM
Why dont they just allow facebook users to setup a next of kin..that person then is able to log in via special username and password, and activate "facebook graveyard" which turns the persons page into a memorial.. and basically only allows this to happen after the facebook user who has died hasnt logged in at least 6 months or somthing...
while this wont be fool proof. it will take facebook out of the picture from an admin stand point, and leave it to the actual user to allow the trust with somone to set it up when the pass on.
there you go facebook.. a free idea...use it.
gerrihan65Jul 19th 2010 2:18PM
It will never be fool-proof as long as fools run FaceBook.
someuser101Jul 20th 2010 9:35AM
That is an excellent idea, eMax! It could just be an option when you set up your profile. You can select a friend from your list to be your memorial host. It would be cool if Facebook could allow other people to view the memorial that weren't friends on Facebook with the deceased.
atssuroepcJul 19th 2010 10:19AM
You could decorate the graves ala farmville.
joel rambaudJul 19th 2010 2:29PM
Nothing else but a way to get private info from the back door so long face book.
timJul 19th 2010 4:48PM
Very true - as with most good things, the people who run FB got greedy & ruined the whole thing (when they started sending email for everything). I used to use FB 12 hrs/day everyday, but dropped it cold when they started that crap! Now I understand they're spreading people's vital info around to marketers - hope it's the beginning of the end of FB! (& I'm a shut-in, with not much else to do! That's how bad it's gotten!)
ryf4165Jul 19th 2010 10:24PM
Hey tim, you can set facebook emails to "on" for everything via Account Settings. And that was the default setting. It took me like a half hour to find it to put an end to all the annoying emails.
Pam WoolseyJul 19th 2010 2:32PM
My son has my permission when I die to change my face book status to "Is chillin' with Jesus" lol
DeeJul 19th 2010 4:49PM
Thats cute, not a bad idea. :)
auroraJul 19th 2010 4:58PM
good one!
revbabydollJul 19th 2010 2:38PM
FB really helped me when my godbrother died last month. they gave me the option of turning it into a memorial page or deleting it all together. i opted for the memorial page so they deleted his login information (because one of his girlfriends had his password), and the removed all of his personal information but left the wall, videos, and photos up.
teecee1003Jul 19th 2010 3:35PM
I completely understand how frustrated the facebook staff must be since they have to decipher delicately was is real and what is a farce. Unfortunately we do have knuckleheads out there pranking on people. I lost one of my bestest, closest friend to suicide a year and a half ago, and lately when im on FB the picture will pop up asking me to reconnected or tag the photo. Honestly, the first time it happened, my stomach sank and i was sooooo deeply saddened that i cried. Now, when it happens (and it happens alot), i get a moment to remember so many good times we had, i still get sad, but im afforded some type of comfort, and remembrance. So, to all u knuckleheads, please think before u prank. And to all that have lost someone & still get to see their pic, embrace it! My condolences go out to you all. Just know that THEY are finally at peace.
ZCatNipJul 20th 2010 1:11AM
That would be a bit creepy or very sad, to have Facebook want me to connect with someone who has died. I think that is a tacky thing of Facebook anyway, to "remind" me of who I should re-connect with. I think I can decide that for myself.
Rather than worrying about making software that searches out "death references" how about they just leave my friends list (or lack of) alone! Next they will be wanting us to add people back on to our list that may have been removed!
goodsisterssandyJul 19th 2010 3:37PM
Check the spelling on dying. I thought that ment to change color. Die is what people do. By the way, I am a senior citizen.
boli49Jul 19th 2010 4:51PM
It's spelled *dying* when referring to death and *dyeing* when referring to coloring your hair. Please consult a dictionary or at least spell check.
KathyJul 19th 2010 11:51PM
goodsistersandy, get over yourself. Its bad enough when people post comments about other peoples spelling, but when you post comments trying to correct other peoples spelling/grammar, at least know what you're talking about before you go spouting off.
leekenobiJul 19th 2010 3:39PM
1. I have an idea. Since Facebook-hosted ads track your information anyway...why not get rid of the "reconnect with" feature for anyone who hasnt logged on in some time?
If John W. hasn't logged on in over a month, the his"reconnect" option won't come on.
2. Or Facebook should go back to its roots as a networking site for Collegiates. Have to have a college or university email account to log on. Because lets face it...once they opened it up to just anyone, thats when the problems started.
3. Or how about these people just get a life. Sure your loved one died. And you KNOW this.
So why not just ignore the "reconnect" option?
Or use it to remind you to go put fresh flowers at the cemetery?
I guess all three of those options involve too much damn common sense. Especially for the new rash of 21st Century bubbleheads living in America.
Kelly GarrettJul 19th 2010 3:48PM
Thank you Facebook for the info about deceased members. I also read some comment about facebook staff being fools or something to that effect. If people feel that way why don't they just stop using the service. I really enjoy using facebook and keeping up with people that I wouldn't ordinarily hear from.
RobJul 20th 2010 9:41AM
Facebook is coming out with a new game called "CemeteryVille". You have to mow the grass, pick up dead flowers, make headstones. The better you keep up the cemetery, the more visitors will come and pay respects. The more visitors the customer gets, the more of a chance they have to go to the "Pearly Gates", and conversly, no upkeep, no visitors, so that makes the ghosts go to the "Gates of Heck"!
You get cash for "Pearly Gates" customers, and deductions for "Gates of Heck".
Once the ghost is gone, you can reuse the plot for new customers!
I like it!
bamcubzJul 19th 2010 4:44PM
One friend of mine who I have know for years, did pass away last year suddenly. In fact I didnt actually believe he was gone until I read his Obituary. I still go by his page and send him gifts, as do many of his friends. I appreciate that his page is still up, so even tho he is gone, he is not forgotten.