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Researchers to Map Ozzy Osbourne's Genome, Find Out Why He's Alive

by Matthew Zuras on June 17, 2010 at 10:40 AM

Ozzy Osbourne and his crazy genesGreat job, Science! Thanks for devoting your giant brains to something as important as Ozzy Osbourne's drug-strewn genetic makeup, and not worrying about those feeble "problems" like AIDS or the hellish oil hole that, goshdarnit, seems to resist the powers of partisan bellyaching. Admittedly, DNA lab Knome is a private enterprise that maps the human genome with the aid of "internationally recognized scientists, clinicians and bioinformaticians." So, don't fret; Obama's not backing the Massachusetts-based company's decision to enlist Ozzy as a research animal.

The company claims it wants to know why the Prince of Darkness is still technically alive, despite years of substance abuse and dove-munching. (Those things must be riddled with mites, no?) This is ostensibly valuable to understanding the origins of disease and, conversely, why someone with Osbourne's pharmacological pedigree could live to see six decades and beyond. We guess that George Clinton and Keith Richards weren't available or willing to stoop so low, but this announcement also comes on the heels of the London Times oh-so-ironically asking Ozzy to write a weekly health column. Way to capitalize on your fading stardom, Oz. We bet Sharon was behind this. [From: Engadget]

Tags: dna, drugs, genes, genome, health, HumanGenome, knome, OzzyOsbourne, science, SharonOsbourne, top

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