Baby Baby! Welcome Your Bundle of Joy With This Bundle of Toys

At first, nine months seems like an eternity. That human gestational period ostensibly provides more than enough time to accumulate all of the necessary parenting accoutrement, but, as is life, those looming months disappear almost instantly. As parenting classes are completed and due dates draw near, certain harried and procrastinating partners may need to consult experts -- or at least experienced friends -- in order to satisfactorily complete their necessary baby-readying requirements.

Trusting online experts, particularly when the health and safety of infants is concerned, can prove almost impossible, though. And, ebullient and overeager friends are likely to have vastly different parenting mentalities. Given those predicaments, and the profusion of Web scams and gimmicky, worthless products, baby shopping may be the most difficult online purchasing task for any consumer.

Despite those hindrances, technology has proven to be an incredible boon for child-rearing. Recent advances have revolutionized how parents monitor and care for their new children, but the diverse assortment of choices may seem daunting and overwhelming. To help wade through the various companies and their products, we've compiled an assortment of necessary, fun and goofy baby gadgets.

To accomplish this task, and to help folks get as ready as possible (if you can ever be truly ready to bring an innocent child into a world of reality TV and scandalously sexed-up Disney stars), we've perused a plethora of parenting sites, consulted Consumer Reports (of course), hounded new parents, and turned to our own fellow expectant parents. (That's right, a second generation of irreverent Switched geeks is on the way.) As far as diapers? You'll have to change those yourself, until, at least, someone finally builds a diaper-bot. C'mon science, we're waiting.

Why Baby Crying Analyzer: $119.95

Because some consumers are of a somewhat litigious nature, let's just go ahead and address one thing. Parents should never, under any circumstance, rely solely on a machine for child-rearing guidance. With that disclaimer, the Why Cry crying analyzer provides an amusing method (particularly for weary and frustrated parents) of deciphering what might be causing that unceasing, ear-shattering wailing. The gadget purportedly analyzes a baby's cries for 20 seconds before determining if the tyke is tired, hungry, bored, stressed or annoyed. There is no "sick" option, so if you feel something may actually be wrong, a visit to a doctor would be the obvious and best decision. The manufacturers claim that it has been clinically tested throughout Europe, where it gained the official support of the Spanish Association of Midwives. It also boasts a supposed success rate of 98-percent "when used in conjunction with the accompanying symptoms chart."

Baby Bidou MP3 player: $59.98

Scientific research has indicated that "beat induction," or the feeling and recognition of a musical beat, is an ingrained human characteristic. To help appease that primordial appreciation for rhythm and music, the Baby Bidou MP3 player provides a safe and easy option for parents. The volume controls can be set and locked in order to avoid accidental and damaging increases, and sound can also be set to slowly fade out as the babe gets deeper into naptime. Since infants can recognize the voices of their parents almost immediately, the recording feature provides a great way for babysitters to lull anxious kids to sleep with the comforting sounds of Mom and Dad.

Origami Stroller: $600 - $850

4Moms offers a variety of amazing, creative and artistic devices, but the incredible Origami stroller should be an absolute necessity for parents with any semblance of appreciation for technology. (No, the company is not sexist, and you have not been slighted, offended dads. The 4Moms are four, very real, moms.) It is absolutely loaded, and, as its name indicates, folds into a "super compact" mode through the use of a single button. The "green" stroller also houses a built-in generator that requires just a 300-foot stroll to fully recharge. The Origami boasts a variety of other jaw-dropping features, including running lights, cup holders, a sensor that will not allow the stroller to fold while a child is in the seat, and a dashboard LCD that displays battery life, walking distance and outdoor temperature. Purchasers can also pimp their baby-rides with a variety of accessories like MP3 speakers and cell phone chargers.

Beaba Babycook: $149.95

The Beaba Babycook performs four preparatory culinary tasks – blend, steam, warm and defrost -- all from one aesthetic and attractive package. Some health-conscious adults may even find this gadget appealing, as it can fully steam meats and veggies within 15 minutes while preserving each item's vitamins and minerals. The BPA-free Babycook comes with recipes and cleaning utensils, and has also received overwhelmingly positive customer reviews, including one from this consumer. The Babycook made preparing food almost effortless, except for a quick dicing, and doesn't suck the flavor out of whatever is being cooked. It provides a perfect option for health-conscious parents and for those who wish to give their baby an organic and natural diet. The included recipe book provides numerous options for burgeoning baby chefs, and the salmon, zucchini, and potatoes come highly recommended by this reviewer. Add a little melted butter or a lemon pepper sauce, and the fish is appealing even for hungry parents.

Pipila Pacifier Sanitizer: $34.99

The pacifier, that ancient and universal placatory tool, may seem untouchable by technological advances, but science can at least help parents to keep their baby's pacy (passy?) clean. As clumsy (cough) parents soon find out, the little guys have a habit of quickly finding their way to the floor or the ground. While boiling and other archaic cleaning methods may damage a pacifier's structural integrity, though, the odorless and flavorless Pipila ozone sanitizer will not. This portable device from Hygiene Innovations utilizes UV light and ozone to "penetrate and rupture the cell wall of germs" before the UV and ozone "attack and destroy the DNA in the cell's nucleus." From dads everywhere, let us offer a sincere "Thank you, Hygiene Innovations." You have officially transformed a mundane parental chore into an awesome, Terminator-style destructive activity.

Yoomi Bottle Warming System: $36, Teats: $7 for two

Baby bottles have been sorely in need of technological reinvention. Boiling water seems increasingly dated, and having to figure out a MacGyver-esque way to heat baby food in public is sooo 20th century. The Yoomi system, which was actually devised by two frustrated real-life parents, negates those antiquated processes with special bottles, warmers and teats. The rechargeable warming device heats the bottles to the natural temperature of breast milk within 60 seconds. The warmer is rechargeable, the teats and bottle are all interchangeable, and everything is BPA-free.

Video Baby Monitors: $99 - $200

The video baby monitor represents the pinnacle of technologically driven parenting gadgets. While the "over-attentive" label may seem unfair for cautious first-time parents, these revolutionary devices allow those concerned moms and dads to instantly check on their precious young ones without seeming like obtrusive coddlers. Major electronics firms sell a variety of video monitors, but some of those products actually lack high-quality reception, and some have even generated significant complaints of interference and crossed signals. One personal consultant even admitted that babysitting grandparents unknowingly watched a nearby neighbor's baby peacefully sleeping while they believed they were monitoring their own sweet progeny. When the parents returned home and discovered that the on-screen baby was not actually their own, they soon pursued other monitoring options. From personal experience, an easily transportable model, particularly handhelds or ones with handles, are highly desirable, unless the shopper plans on buying more than one device. To fit the various needs and desires, Summer Infant offers an assortment of highly reviewed monitors that range from standard black-and-white to high-end color flat screens.

Boon Squirt: $7.99

Boon may not actively incorporate technology into the majority of its products, but some of its futuristic devices are absolutely visually stunning. Its simplistic tools seamlessly blend form and function, particularly the appropriately named Squirt and Flo products. The Squirt is a brightly colorful, baster-esque baby food dispenser that incrementally distributes food "one bite at a time." The Flo, which could perhaps cross age barriers, acts as protective faucet cover, preventing clumsy parents from whacking their kid's head during bath time. It also awesomely doubles as a bubble bath dispenser, so that moms and dads can serenely relax in the tub while watching their peaceful, slumbering tyke on their new flat-screen video monitor.

Tags: 4moms, baby, baby gadgets, babybidou, BabyGadgets, BabyMonitor, beaba, BeabaBabycook, boon, bottle warmer, BottleWarmer, features, origamistroller, pacifier, pipila, SummerInfant, top, WhyCryBabyAnalyzer, Yoomi