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Black Eyed Peas Insist on Being 'Futuristic' and We Insist on Making Fun of Them for It

by Leila Brillson on February 17, 2010 at 05:45 PM

Once upon a time, before 'Matrix' imitations and the phrase "We're so three thousand and eight" were born, there was a listenable, underground (if somewhat poppy) hip-hop group called the Black Eyed Peas. 'Joints and Jams' was an indie hit, and the Macy Gray collaboration 'Request Line' was a fun, summer-y sing along. And then they decided they liked vocoders and 'Lumps' way more. It's not often that we get to climb up on our blogger soapboxes and rant. But, when the Peas use 'The Future' (in all its silvery, capitalized, touch-screen glory) to promote their new video for 'Imma Be Rockin' That Body,' we feel it necessary -- nay, patriotic -- to comment.

In case your constitution isn't strong enough for the entire video, here's a breakdown: Will.i.am (wearing blinky sunglasses) explains to Fergie, et. al., that he can put his voice -- "high notes, my low notes, the whole English vocabulary" -- into a machine that writes songs for him. This might be interpreted as a critique of the music industry if listeners weren't then subjected to nine minutes of vocoder-laden, Alvin-style vocals and tinny, empty sounding drum machines. Alas, with this song, we may just be gaining earnest insight into the Peas' writing process.

Fergie, upset by the lack of artistry, gets on her bike and drives off, awakening, swimsuit-clad, in the future. She finds Will frozen like a skipping CD and 'releases' him, only to be chased by a robot. The duo enters a 'District 9'-type camp, rescues the other Peas, and then sets out 'unsticking' the rest of the city (but not before a chorus line of anthropomorphized speakers do the cha-cha). Now wearing a different bathing suit (this one replete with metal nipples), Fergie and Will.i.am blast beams of energy at the public, who were apparently having a massive dance party prior to being frozen. There's something about Fergie getting kidnapped by a robot, and then the obligatory dance-off.

Flashback to the future, where Fergie regains consciousness, and we realize, through the ultimate in sloppy endings, IT WAS ALL A DREAM.

As the always-intriguing Videogum aptly commented, "Really, Black Eyed Peas? You feel that you have earned the 10-minute music video? This is your 'November Rain'?" Ten-minute videos work for 'Purple Rain' or 'Windowlicker,' but not for songs that feature robots dancing the, err... robot.

Don't get it twisted. The Black Eyed Peas are sending a message to their befuddling fanbase (made up of no one we know): "Don't become robots, boys, or else we will have a future with Autobot dance-offs and blinky glasses. And Michael Bay will be our mayor, Bill Gates our president, and we will be 'The United States of Next-Level S***t'." [From: Videogum]


Tags: black eyed peas, BlackEyedPeas, Fergie, michael bay, MichaelBay, music, rant, robot, will.i.am

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