Internet Not Just for Nameless Attacks -- Apologies Also Abound

by Warren Riddle on January 20, 2010 at 03:20 PM

Whether deserved or not, the Internet receives a significant amount of criticism because of the ubiquity of snarky, rude, and vitriolic miscreants who delight in anonymously antagonizing people. The prevalence of such activity has given rise to the Net Commandments, and has even inspired a comprehensive categorization of message board flamers.

Lost amid all that bloggery bravado and insulting Internet behavior, though, has been the proliferation of a different type of online interaction: the overdue apology. According to the Wall Street Journal, an increasing amount of people are using the Internet to rectify previous wrongs, and are sometimes apologizing for missteps that occurred decades ago. The Journal spoke with cousins, departed lovers, siblings, and classmates who all logged on, located their one-time objects of scorn, and lamented the occurrences that may have helped drive them apart.

Those past wrongs range from rude comments to a wedding invitation omission, from the tormenting of a younger sister to classroom bullying. In some interactions, the victim didn't even remember the transgression, but the apology still served to lessen the burden of the wrongdoer. In other cases, the recipient of the apology was moved to tears.

In one specific incident, Jane Angelich felt the need to rectify "the meanest thing" she ever did, so, after tracking down her cousin online, she apologized for telling him to "drop dead," in 1961. (That is the "meanest thing?" Wow. Way to make us feel absolutely loathsome). She told the Journal that she sought solace after almost 50 years because "When something is nagging at you for 48-years, you need to clear it up."

Certain people will dismiss these cyber apologies as being less than heartfelt, but the mere presence of such activity should be celebrated. People often decry the Internet's supposed role in creating distance between people and inspiring a lack of humanity and compassion, but this trend demonstrates the opposite. Some recipients of the apologies may refuse to accept them, but just trying to make restitution can help the apologizing person cope with their own misdeeds. And, while the Journal praises reaching out to people, it still wisely recommends a personal approach once you've tracked down your former enemy: call them on the phone.

If you sometimes stare at the ceiling late at night, wondering if your cross words still haunt a former acquaintance or friend (and, really, who doesn't?), there are, of course, Web sites that can help ease the apology process. Have you apologized (or received an apology) over the Web? Let us know in comments. [From: The Wall Street Journal]

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Comments

fawcettekJan 21st 2010 7:44AM

Highest Ranked

Over 30 years ago, on a New Year's Eve, the boy I liked asked me to look after his younger brother, who was drunk. He was a year younger than me, and I wanted to earn favor in his brother's eyes . .. so I consoled him and helped him -- while he threw up and rambled on an on . . . but then he kissed me. It was awkward . . . but never more so than when we returned to school after winter break and he told his girlfriend! She then proceeded to tell me off in front of the whole class! I was embarrassed and humiliated . . .and ashamed. I was already not a very popular girl (not a bad girl -- more like one of the geeks). I even went to him and asked why he told her, since it meant nothing -- but he said he needed to be honest with her. She and I never spoke again during high school, and I always just felt this nagging shame. Then recently I saw her on facebook . . .and the feelings welled up in me! Unbelievable that they would linger so long and so deep -- but I had to make it right. So I wrote her an online apology - a rather lengthy one, and offered my sincerest, most heartfelt apologies because of this shame I'd carried all these years. The outcome? She wrote back that she was very surprised because she'd never given it another thought after that episode! Didn't even remember it . . . and now we, she and I, are great online friends (and although they married, they are no longer). Online apology silly? No, I don't think so. Anytime you have the chance -- whether it's for their sake or for yours, do it.

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Internet Not Just for Nameless Attacks -- Apologies Also Abound

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