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Incredibly Geeky Methods for Measuring the Mundane

by Warren Riddle on December 3, 2009 at 09:20 AM

Measuring, categorizing, and sorting are all important facets of scientific analysis, but geeks love to apply those techniques to non-scientific, everyday pursuits, as well. With the rapid evolution of technology, terms like "shaftment" and "carucate" frequently fade into obscurity, so keeping up with current scientific methods can be difficult. Wired's Geek Dad, though, has compiled 11 forms of modern measurement that every geek should know.

The assortment includes familiar and expected sci-fi references, like the Wil Wheaton 'Milliwheaton' Twitter-follower scale, and the 'Back to the Future'-inspired 'Emmet' system for measuring power. It also includes some humorous formulas, including a putrid method for determining diaper nastiness, and yet another complicated, incredibly nerdy way of measuring Twitter activity.

The list can't cover every aspect of geek analysis, so there are a few categories that should probably be addressed. Coolness can already be measured in 'Megafonzies,' but another unit should be established for huge geeks who somehow accomplish highly improbable acts of coolness. The 'Megamichaelhall' would be a solid choice, given the '80s geek superstar's ability to score women way out of his league in such dork epics as 'Sixteen Candles' and 'Weird Science.'

And, although it has somehow been overlooked in Wired's compilation and its comments section, someone definitely needs to establish a 'Flying Car' absurdity quotient in order to rank sci-fi's worst and most overused predictions. [From: Wired]

Tags: funny, geek, list, lists, sci-fi, top

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