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Autofetch Ball: Next Generation of Animal Torture?

by Amar Toor on November 1, 2009 at 10:15 AM


There's delayed gratification. And then there's delayed gratification. The former can be good. The latter? Excruciating. Just ask the unfortunate canines who are tormented by the newest doggie tech-toy.

The Autofetch Motion Pet Ball is a robo-ball that uses an internal auto-motion gyroscope to jump around. The point? You don't have to risk tearing a rotator cuff by throwing a tennis ball to your dog 1,500 times in a row. The catch? It's hell for your dog. See, the lackadaisical energy-efficient pet owner is supposed to put some sort of treat inside the ball, meaning that the dog can smell the delicious biscuit, or beef jerky, or whatever, inside. He'll just never be able to catch the damn ball.

Manufacturers claim that the Autofetch provides "physical and mental exercise" by keeping the doggie treat perpetually out of paw's reach. Even if your frozen heart melts at some point, and you decide to give Sparky the MilkBone after he's already gone into cardiac arrest for the sake of your sore triceps, you still might not be able to extract it from the ball -- at least if it's as complex a process as the manufacturers suggest. According to the company, "The treat slot is designed to let the treat fall out only when it is aligned exactly right, which is exactly a degree or two above nadir [...What??]. Meaning it may take you and your pet a while to get the treat out, but it will come out if you are clever enough!" Fun for all!

If we ever tried this with our dogs, we would definitely have a serious mutt mutiny on our hands. The part that left us scratching our heads was this (allegedly) Frequently Asked Question (italics added for emphasis):

- Can I use this motion ball with my pet Rabbit or Pig or Iguana?
Yes, it can be used with any pet, child, or adult human.

Iguana?? Really? Pig? Wait, wait, wait.... child??

This post stops now. [From: Chinavision, via DVice]

Tags: autofetch, dogs, pets, robot, weird

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