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Ways the Internet Could Come Crashing Down

by Caleb Johnson on September 9, 2009 at 07:31 AM


For many (us included), living without the Internet would be akin to living without oxygen. It just can't be done. Much to our horror, there are some nefarious types out there who are constantly plotting to bring the Web crashing down, forever denying us access to cute pictures of cats and free pornography. (That is all it's good for, right?)

Thankfully, some caring folks at News.com.au have compiled a list of 10 ways to destroy the Internet. Now, it's up to all you good-hearted geeks to study this 'inside information' (straight from a secret underground war room, we bet), and figure out ways to prevent such a tragedy. Below, we paraphrase a few of News.com.au's biggest threats and offer some of our own solutions, too.
  • Threat: Submarines equipped with giant scissors patrol the seas, cutting underwater cables. Solution: Easy. Just train sharks equipped with torpedoes to protect those cables.
  • Threat: Nations deploy armies of hackers to wreak havoc by creating super-viruses. Solution: Just replace each hacker's wireless mouse with an old, corded rolling-ball mouse. They'll become so frustrated that they'll just give up.
  • Evil-doers use an electromagnetic pulse to destroy hardware. Solution: Consult Benjamin Linus from 'Lost.' He seems to know a thing or two about electromagnetic activity.


See, those plotting against the Internet don't stand a chance. This is a good start, but the rest is up to you, folks. We'd come up with more solutions, but we're sort of busy. After all, someone has to watch those videos of cats playing keyboards. [From: News.com.au, via New Launches]

Tags: computer, hack, humor, internet, terrorism, top, web

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