14 Annoying Tech Types
Though technology generally makes our lives better, it can also turn us into idiots. Inspired by Blue Tools -- those people who never remove their wireless headsets -- we've compiled a list of personality types who irritate by misusing gadgets and the Internet in ways that are mean, rude, or simply clueless.
Are we stereotyping a bit? Sure, but ultimately, we're here to help. Recognizing that you have a problem is the first step to recovery. So take that headset off for a moment and ask yourself: "Is this what I've become?" If so, just look up from the screen, turn down the volume, and your friends will be happy to have you back. But first, take a look at 12 types who we think should take their technology and shove it.
1) Who: Accessorizers
Why they're annoying: Features? Better technology? What's that? Like a socialite with a new purse, Accessorizers get the latest cool gadget simply because it's the latest cool gadget.
What they're likely to say: "What's 3GS? This is the new iPhone. Isn't it so much cuter than the old one?"
2) Who: Gadget Snobs
Why they're annoying: Unlike Accessorizers, gadget snobs know their stuff intimately and don't always care about having the latest gear. They're more interested in telling you why yours is pathetically antiquated.
What they're likely to say: "Nice phone. I think I saw the same model at a flea market last weekend."
3) Who: Connection Addicts
Why they're annoying: Some people can't go more than a few minutes, or seconds, without checking for a new e-mail, text message, or status update.
What they're likely to say: "Just give me two secs to check my Facebook feed. Okay?"
4) Who: Luddites
Why they're annoying: Luddites begrudge any technology advancement they don't fully understand, such as smartphones and Twitter, without acknowledging the benefits it brings.
What they're likely to say: "I don't see why you need Internet on your phone. But...um, can you check the score again?"
5) Who: Gamer Gods
Why they're annoying: Take the Snob and add an ego inflated by success in a made-up world. They'll not only wallop you onscreen, but also insult you in the process.
What they're likely to say: "This pathetic newbie needs to get out of here, and I need another Monster energy drink!"
6) Who: Bitter IT Techs
Why they're annoying: Though they are supposed to be helpful, these people actually despise you. Your computer or BlackBerry needs -- and your woeful technical incompetence -- are not worthy of their time, which they'd rather spend surfing 'EverQuest' forums.
What they're likely to say: "Really? How did you manage to break that?"
7) Who: Smelly Nerds
Why they're annoying: Techies who are so out of touch that they don't notice their own B.O. are annoying for two reasons. First, they stink. Second, they perpetuate the "lives in his mother's basement" stereotype that makes all us geeks look bad.
What they're likely to say: "Soap? How many WoW gold is that worth?"
8) Who: Arrogant Bloggers
Why they're annoying: Simply posting on the Web doesn't make your opinion any more valid. But arrogant bloggers think that referencing a real journalism article and writing a few sarcastic lines makes them "commentators."
What they're likely to say: "Simply posting on the Web doesn't make your opinion any more valid..."
9) Who: Old-News Flashers
Why they're annoying: Just because they recently discovered an old Net phenomenon like 'Chocolate Rain' or 'Boom Goes the Dynamite,' Flashers assume that you still haven't. In three years, these folks will tell you to check out 'Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat.'
What they're likely to say: "LOL FW: funny! Fwd: Ron, you'll love this. FW: Fwd: Fw: Hilarious video"
10) Who: Twitter-Happy Celebs
Why they're annoying: Too enamored with this microblogging thing, some celebrities spew a stream of absurdly personal and banal details -- thinking that their fans actually care.
What they're likely to say: From NBA point guard T.J. Ford: "Up early.. Takin' a dump then wash my hands brush my grill & off to be the best PG.. Doubt me if u want. Hard work pays off"
11) Who: Hyper Politicos
Why they're annoying: They can turn the most benign article, blog entry, or status update into a political argument -- full of poor grammar and spelling.
What they're likely to say: "This kittin is cute, not like that Kenyun-born muzlim Owbama."
"Only a sychotic Pallin-loving neocon would spuw that garbage about Chris Martin. Coldplay rulez!"
12) Who: Apple-istas
Why they're annoying: So invested in the iLifestyle, they consider any non-Apple products to be garbage, and people who buy them to be idiots. (Just as bad are the Apple Deniers, who resist buying any of the brand's products just to prove they aren't lemmings.)
What they're likely to say: "Sorry that hard drive crash wiped out all the photos of your child. I guess that's what you get for buying a PC."
13) Who: Sleazebags
Why they're annoying: To sleazes, the Web exists solely for perversion. Their desires fuel the spam industry, and they ruin every social network with slimy come-ons. At their worst, sleazes perpetrate violent crimes and privacy invasions (just ask ESPN's Erin Andrews).
What they're likely to say: "Take ur top off."
14) Who: Text-Obsessives
Why they're annoying: Why waste time on old-fashioned formalities like talking and listening, Obsessives wonder, when they can just let a call go to voicemail and respond with an SMS that reads "sup?"
What they're likely to say: "U wan2 chill l8r? Lmk. Thx."
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 6)
ezidarich said 3:17PM on 9-08-2009
sure
karsoto79 said 2:06PM on 9-08-2009
talking n listening t8ks 4ever!!
Reply
alvarezarturo01 said 2:41PM on 9-08-2009
THEN YOU WONT BE SOCIAL. just txt and talk.
last ones true
aseeside said 4:24PM on 9-08-2009
i no i totally agree
Catmoves said 7:37PM on 9-08-2009
How nice. An article for the young set who are learning to read and write English. Stay with it kids, it's hard, but it will come to you with enough practice.
David said 2:09PM on 9-08-2009
Im ok with talking about politics from time to time, but hyper politicos are really annoying online. The article could be about cake and then they make a political statement. lol
Reply
Glenn said 4:52PM on 9-08-2009
Mmmmmmmm, cake.
gamerdavid777 said 5:30PM on 9-08-2009
Wow, cake is such a fatty food. I'd imagine cake is just a stupid food for all those idiots who used to support bush. Im so glad Obama's president now..... lol thats what a politico is like
Sue said 2:20PM on 9-08-2009
I have a friend (or I should say HAD) that started the annoying email checking and Oh just one more text or Oh I need to answer this email, all during our lunches together and I got sick of it. Once I reached across the table after she answered her 5th "just one more" and I took the phone away from her and told her she could survive an hour without her flipping phone. But the last straw was when she gave me a ride someplace since I only have a motorcycle and it was 119 degrees that day and she started texting and answering emails in Phoenix traffic going 70 mph on a major highway !
Never again - not her and certainly not riding in her car either
Reply
paula said 7:06PM on 9-08-2009
Your friend is a total idiot, who probably barely have brain. Stay as far away as you can if care for yourself!
Stan said 2:24PM on 9-08-2009
This article is really sloppily put together. Call me a tech "snob" but NOBODY gets the new iPhone saying it's "cuter than the last one." Most of what the author calls accessorizers and gadget snobs are lumped into one category, and they love gadgets for the same reason anyone loves anything else, they're fascinating and fun. Also, it's embarrassing how little the author knows about some of these topics, I mean...WoW tokens...really..? And smelly nerds? Honestly... Enough with the harsh stereotypes of technophiles.
Reply
keplue said 6:32PM on 9-08-2009
this article is stupid there is no reason to stereotype people because of their hobbies some of these people are annoying but they really arent that bad and honestly i dont think the author could really think of 14 so they just put the first thing that popped into their arrogent little head
rozzybaby1967 said 1:29PM on 9-14-2009
I've met a few smelly nerds dude. And they think they smell sweet. It's all in their priorities and theirs is to not miss a quest. A former friend loved his Depends. That way he didn't miss out on the loot. Too bad he missed out on LIFE!
Angie said 2:32PM on 9-08-2009
If you are going to make fun of me and my fellow WoW-heads, at least get the terminology right... "WoW tokens" do not exist :P
Reply
Ken said 3:25PM on 9-08-2009
^wtt gold for tokens pst
~_~
xlyssabugx said 4:32PM on 9-08-2009
ew. stupid wow nerds. get a life!!!!
woodruffbailey said 5:30PM on 9-08-2009
just cuz we play wow doesnt mean we dont have lives, and yes its Gold not tokens
gamerdavid777 said 5:36PM on 9-08-2009
I play runescape myself, cause i dont like wow much, but just the same, I get annoyed with people who think that just cause you play a game, your obsessed with it. I'm sitting here looking at news articles aren't I? And I havent even played runescape for like, a month. So I'm NOT obsessed with some game.
jwadeneal said 5:50PM on 9-08-2009
where does it even say "tokens"? It says gold
hordeftw said 7:56PM on 9-08-2009
for your information mister know it all, it doesnt even say tokens anywhere up there, so stop bitching at the writer for "messing up" and get your facts straight.
If you guys seriously have the time of day to bitch and moan about how crappy this is, then you must not have a life. Ahem...get one!