5 Most Boring Video Games Ever
Last week, Kotaku wrote about Konami's new 'Walk It Out' title, a game that is about, well, walking. (To be fair, players do have to walk to a rhythm.) With a soundtrack of over 100 songs, Konami is trying to ensure that pretending to amble around the world is more fun than actually going for a walk -- which, hopefully, individuals would prefer to passing through pixelated parks.
Congrats to Konami for utilizing the fitness aspect of the Wii, but going for a stroll feels awfully boring. While the first major video game depicted nothing but a paddle and a ball, creators still prove that everyday, mundane activities make it onto the shelves more often than we'd like. Here's a look at some of the most boring, too-realistic, pointless video games we've played.
5. 'Animal Crossing', Nintendo DS
Gee, look at everyone, so cute in their little houses. In this life simulation game, players can send their furry pals small gifts and notes, as they engage in edge-of-your-seat activities like paying off their mortgage or selling turnips in a cartoonish rural town. But after so many times being told what the non-player character's (usually some type of irritating woodland creature) favorite flavor of pie is, or endlessly struggling to de-weed your lawn, players tire of the game's adorable-factor. Nintendo, at least give us some new, downloadable content.
4. 'Let's Tap,' Nintendo Wii
Accelerometers are undoubtably cool. With the ability to detect motion, vibration, and speed, however, Sega can come up with something a bit more exciting then tapping your way through racing levels, a frustrating Jenga-like game involving how your fingers strike, and, of course, a rhythm game. Entertaining for ten, maybe fifteen minutes, until the player realized that they are simply drumming their fingers for fun.
3. Various Imagine games, Nintendo DS
The Nintendo DS has broken ground by catering equally to both male and female audiences. Animal simulators like 'Nintendogs' and 'Horsez' are bad enough, but at least there is interactivity and gosh-darn adorable critters. Ubisoft's Imagine series is nothing but watered down minigames involving the stylus and microphone -- 'Movie Star' asks the player to dance her way to fame (we don't get it, either) by tapping patterns, and 'Babyz' is just a pet simulation, stuffed with tasks like cleaning and feeding instead of walking...and feeding. If reality and career education is what Imagine's developers are going for, how about this for an idea? Imagine: Disgruntled Bloggers. Players have to moderate comments and delete spam before time runs out. Thrilling, eh?
2. 'Bronkie the Bronchiasurus,' Super Nintendo
Sure, its a low-blow going after old games, but Bronkie is so horribly boring it had to be included. A young dinosaur plagued by a dust-inducing meteor is sent to save the world...with his inhaler. Granted, it was meant to teach children how to control their asthma, but not all educational games ('Oregon Trail,' anyone?) have to have such sleep-inducing game time. In fact, all obvious platform games with a cheap, sloppy 'theme' or 'lesson' overlaid last minute are officially boring.
1. 'Sims,' various systems
Before the hate mail starts pouring in, hear us out: Imagine explaining 'The Sims' to a friend. The player, your avatar, lives his or her life as an average person, performing daily chores, going to work, visiting friends and unwinding with some TV. The game is essentially real life, complete with trips to the bathroom, doing dishes, and other parts of your day you'd rather forget. It's only when players venture outside of the realm of daily routine, and, say, imagine themselves a great painter (with a penchant for the rampant polygamy found in-game) that things begin to get interesting. Until then, though, players just meander through their houses, making dinner and taking out the trash, which is unnervingly close to the real deal.