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Cincinnati Man Spanks Son Over Poor Video Gaming
We don't know who to lampoon first here, the father who hit his son for sucking at a video game, or the police and media who are portraying a spanking as serious child abuse.According to Cincinnati police, 50-year-old Terry Taulbee was arrested and charged with domestic violence after he hit his six-year-old son around his lower back and buttocks leaving red hand prints which, according to the Cincinnati Inquirer, "caused pain for the child." According to the alleged victim's mother, the spanking took place after the boy performed poorly in a video game, which is just about the worst reason to spank anyone ever.
While the spanking was clearly undeserved, we'd hardly call it a "beating" like every other media outlet that has picked up the story. Sometimes a kid needs to get spanked. Most of us here at Switched got smacked in the butt when we misbehaved as children and we turned out (relatively) okay.
So is Taulbee guilty of "beating" his kid? No -- just of being a bad father and a jerk. But, sadly, those things are not illegal. [From: Cincinnati Inquirer, Via: Joystiq]
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Comments
25
Subscribe to commentsEthanApr 26th 2009 10:07AM
This is from a quote from the mother, and is probably a gross simplification. Though it is never productive to beat your kids. But, hey, run with the eye-catching story.
BejentlApr 27th 2009 3:35AM
Ethan,
When parents were allowed to spank their children children weren't killing their parents.
While I'm no advocate of child abuse, I am an advocate of talking to the end that listens when necessary. And I see a difference between child abuse and a well deserved spanking.
Children rule now. There is little a parent with an unruley child/teen can do beyond therapy that seems suitable now a day. I grew up at a time when not only your parents, but their friends and the principal were allowed to tend to the end. In a generation that showed respect for their elders, other people's property and rules. Did we always want to obey? No, we weren't perfect, but we did know about consequences. Real consequences not these pathetic attempts at feigned understanding and sympathy going around now a day that do little more than cost the parents or the state a small fortune and leave those difficult children feeling somehow justified or excused for indulging in their " Me, My, I" attitudes.
There are many statistics out there about abused children becoming abusive people. How about looking at the statistics of children who were not abused and grew up in advantaged or non spanking households that end up being serial killers, abusing their spouses and going postal because they aren't used to hearing the words "no" or "stop"!?
David RussellApr 26th 2009 11:16AM
The legal defence that stops spanking from being assault is 'reasonable chastisement'. Thus if the spanking wasn't reasonable, then it isn't covered and it IS a beating.
ehohelsux1Apr 26th 2009 3:21PM
Not a "beating" @ all! And yes, the father was a jerk. A ROYAL jerk! Hopefully the Spanking & beating are two different things and there is a BIG difference in how the two are meted out!
MahilApr 26th 2009 5:54PM
What about the kid, for sucking at the video game in the first place?
SaraApr 26th 2009 7:52PM
There are many responsible ways to discipline your child, rather than beating them. The pain and abuse from a beating of your child, is only a 'feelgood' for the abuser (or parent).
The child is being abused because you are angry, and you want to physically hurt the child. A FAR better method of dealing with these situations is, to TALK to your child in a quiet environment, EXPLAINING the situation, ie, what he did wrong, what offended you, etc. THEN, discuss what the punishment will be the next time the situation reoccurs.
Many parents make ANGRY, REBELLIOUS, young people, out of those who were their parents' BABIES at one time.
The OUTCOMES for these abused children USUALLY is jail or prison terms.
PARENTS, love and hug your children and young teens through their problems. Communicte with then, using the English Languge. You'll be amazed at the OUTCOMES!
annasatticJul 3rd 2009 9:28AM
Sara, You are so "right on". My parents spanked sparingly and my mother's weapon of choice was a wooden spoon, which she once missed and hit herself, she said it hurt so bad she vowed never to hit a child again. I have tried to tell my children to think before they react, is it because you are angry over the situation and feel a need to control it and act out over your own anger or do you really believe that hitting a child is going to change his/her behavior. Then think about what would be a better way to accomplish that. Hitting just shows a child that that is how you solve problems. If a person really thought about it would you hit a friend that did something you didn't approve of, no you wouldn't, but you would hit your own child.
DAMEDJSApr 26th 2009 8:38PM
THAT'S FUNNY!!!!
j. doranApr 26th 2009 9:52PM
never hit your kids
sunnydawsonApr 26th 2009 11:35PM
Spank the dad for being a poor daddy.
BejentlApr 27th 2009 3:36AM
The child is six years old and should be outside playing not being trained for dronning.'
Although I'd not call this physical child abuse, the mental abuse the child suffers from this should be dealt with. We all suck at something and it's sad that he has had it ingrained through his bum that the punishment for trying without success can be harsh.
The father needs a course on constructive parenting. A real course. I don't think he is a bad man, just a misguided one. Offer him help. And as for the Mother, she had that to say after, where was she during? She should have prevented this so she gets no kudos from me.
sharonApr 27th 2009 3:59AM
I think we need to have a legal spanking day once a week. This way we could tell the kids "keep it up, just wait"
Micahel MichalchikApr 27th 2009 4:21AM
If you need to spank your child you are an incompetent parent and shouldn't be having kids. My child is 15, has friends, gets mainly A's and skipped 3 years ahead in math (calculus as a sophomore) . He regularly gets good citizenship comments from his teachers and is well liked. He has never been in serious enough trouble to even get a detention. He has self-confidence and is just naughty enough to make him interesting without being a downer or danger for anybody. I never once struck him and have yelled at him less than a dozen times in his life. I can correct his behavior with a glance or a word. He listens to me because he respects and trusts me. He talks to me about what is going on in his life and he listens when I tell him about the dangers of drugs and why he is not ready for sex. He has grown up to be like this despite living through a divorce and having an uninvolved mom.
I taught him reason, kindness, prudence and morals through example, guidance, with words and most of all by listening to him carefully. Both my sisters have followed the same basic style of parenting and gotten the same results with their 4 children even with one child who was autistic. Millions of us raise our children to properous, healthy adulthood without spanking. Spanking should go the way of wife-beating; I consider it morally equivalent. I am a teacher and I have studied this topic in educational psychology. There is sound science to show that spanking is both unnecessary and often counter productive. It is true that there are some healthy adults that have been spanked but this is inspite of, not because of spanking. Involved parents that give structure, set good examples, share love and reason are what makes children moral creatures ready to take on the world.
Raise a hand to your child and you teach him that might makes right. Pain equals justice. Their body is their not own. Their feelings don't matter. Violence can be justified. You teach them to lie, to sneak, to subvert your will. You teach them that right and wrong is not about following what is in your conscience but avoiding being punished by authorities. You teach them fear, hopelessness and silent rage. You set them up for teenage rebellion and a rejection of who you are. Spanking is a hold over from dark times in our history where cruelty was a way of life.
Finally, my son is good at videogames ;-)
BrandyJul 3rd 2009 6:31PM
I'd like to point out a few things. I agree that the father who spanked his child for 'bad video game playing' is a jerk. He needs to take a course on Parenting and possibly Anger Management. That's no reason to spank a child.
On another note, I don't think spanking should be illegal and I don't think ANYONE has the right to tell you how to discipline or raise your child. There is a BIG difference between 'spanking' and 'beating'. Aside from that, as long as you are not spanking for rediculous reasons or doing any other type of cruel or unusual punishment people should keep their nose out of your family life.
I'd also like to point out that all children have different personalities and react differently to different types of discipline. Just like adults we all have different ways of coping with different things and all learn differently. For some children, putting them in 'time-out' or taking toys away does not work.
Anyone who has a child knows you cannot rationalize with them when you are trying to discipline them. If you think that rationalizing works with a child you are unfortunately mistaken. While it might seem to work in the beginning, all the child is learning is that they can continue to do whatever behavior they got 'a talk' about and in the future when they continue that behavior all they will get is... 'a talk'.
In some cases, the child just learns how to hide this behavior/action and learns to lie/manipulate very well to get what they want/do what they want.
Some of the above posts mentioned about how spanking a child causes them to serve prison terms or become rebellious teens... I could see how ABUSE might cause a child to become a criminal or a rebellious teen but NOT good parenting and spanking for reasonable reasons. That type of thinking is unrealistic and completely nonsensical.
The children/teens (that I have seen) that grew up without having some form of spanking hid their bad behavior from their parents, and their parents are too naive to even notice. The parents strongly believed that 'just talking' and explaining why you don't do things was a viable way of teaching consequences of your actions to children. All the child learned is that they could get away with anything if they were caught as long as they shed some alligator tears and said sorry.
Their parents talked about them like little angels and yet the teens I knew became so good at hiding things from their parents, the parents knew none-the-better. Imagine the one parent's surprise when he found out his supposed 'virgin' 15 year old daughter was pregnant and their 13 year old son was smoking pot. Reality is, a lot of the time these kids get so good at covering up that their parents never find out. Ignorance is bliss...
While that may not be all the cases (As I am sure some children are pure angels and talking to them calmly and explaining why they shouldn't do this or that might help.) that is not always the case and is not always the norm. It is very rare to have a problem free child/teen in this generation no matter how perfect you think you have raised your child.(Unless by some freak accident your child was born without having a personality and ability to make decisions on their own.)
I have a 3 year old daughter, and while I do not spank for every little thing, I do not spank to 'hurt her' or to make myself 'feel good' AND I do not spank her because I am angry. Saying that parents who spank do it to 'feel good' is asinine. The people above who were saying that are naive in that respect and trying to stereotype or cast a bad light on the parents who choose to spank. When I do spank her I do not spank her hard or 'beat' my daughter. I only spank when other forms of discipline have not worked and she is not listening.
I think (in a way) spanking can prepare you for the real world. The child will associate doing something wrong with a REAL consequence. A spanking. You aren't on easy street in life. You have consequences for your actions for everything you do in life. You don't get off committing crimes by 'talking' about it. You go to jail and do your time/pay your fine. You can't go up to a guy in a bar and think you can talk crap. You will most likely get the crap beat out of you. There are a lot of other analogies I could use but I think I made my point...
Spanking is a consequence that should be used as a last resort for an appropriate reason. (Not because your kid can't help you get past a level in a video game.) And, it shouldn't be used every-time you need to punish. It will stick in a child's memory more than a simple talk would and they will associate doing something wrong with a consequence that is undesirable... Therefore they will learn they do not want to continue doing this bad behavior/ action because they know what will happen if they do and do not listen.
gkelleher35Apr 27th 2009 6:20AM
I have three children, now 13, 15, and 17, and each of them required different forms of punishment for misbehavior when they were younger. Each required a mixture of time outs, removal of privileges, harsh glances and a raised voice, and, yes, spanking. The emphasis on one of the other type of punishment depended on the circumstance - and the child. The youngest one really only needed a harsh glance and raised voice, and she fell to pieces, while the other would tell me "that didn't hurt" after being spanked.
My children are all A and B students who are well-rounded and well-behaved. The important thing to remember is that all children are different and what works for one may not work for another - even when they are from the same parents.
TimApr 27th 2009 2:57PM
I love how it says "caused pain for the child." Really!? Isn't that what spanking does? I was spanked as a kid, I am alive, and so will my kids. It does not happen often, but when it does its not over some stupid video games.
phoenixmichaelsonJun 2nd 2009 6:00PM
Child buttock-beating for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because many (not all) people are trying to do just that.
There are several reasons why hitting kids isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D., and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
phoenixmichaelsonJun 2nd 2009 6:07PM
Just a small handful of those engaged in trying to educate the public against child buttock-beating:
American Academy of Pediatrics
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Center for Effective Discipline
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child
Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children
PsycHealth, Ltd.,
Behavioral Health Professionals
Churches Network For Non-Violence
Parenting In Jesus Footsteps
Nobel Peace Prize Recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu
etc., etc., etc.,
squirrelthetigerJun 19th 2009 3:23PM
Video games are for fun not for judjin. i think the dad should get spanked!
jjJun 27th 2009 9:16PM
I was spanked as a kid and i always have gotten good grades in school. My little brother probally has never gotten spanked and has had to repeat a grade. The father in the story is an absolute retard and should be put in jail. My dad was a young father and is angered easily but he never left a mark on me and im not traumitized? by the fact that i have gotten spanked. I love my Dad and always will. But the man in the story is NOT a good father. He shouldnt BE a father...