Should We Ban Our Kids From Texting?
Since text messaging has become the de facto mode of communication for an entire generation of teens and tweens, many parents have had to question their kids' use of the technology. Some are even taking the drastic step of banning text messaging, altogether. It's not hard to see why; we've reported on a myriad of incidents involving teens and texts, from states banning it on their roadways to high-profile teen "sexting" trials. Still, is it the right move to cut off your kids? Is it possible that barring them from text messaging might actually hurt their development?
Debbe Geiger, a writer and mother of two from Durham, NC, has had mixed feelings since her family banned their children from texting. In a recent blog post for the New York Times, Geiger discusses the conflict that arises from worrying about "mean-girl" texts and the dangers of irresponsible use while simultaneously wishing for the convenience of being in touch with her kids in a way palatable to them.
In regards to "mean" text messaging, we think it's safe to say that kids were being mean to each other long before texting came around. It's just that, now, the messages are being passed digitally instead of being scrawled on handwritten notes and stashed away in lockers. As unfortunate as it may be, gossip and meanness are a part of growing up; banning the text is not going to eliminate the message.
This leads us to question the wisdom of an outright ban on texting. Unlike, say, banning violent video games (a largely alienating medium), an embargo on text messaging effectively disconnects a teen from their network of friends and could make them feel like an outcast. As the adage says, kids will be kids. Just as they have done in regards to their children's adoption of computers, instant messaging and social networking, parents will have to adapt to texting.
We're all for democracy here at Switched, and you get it from education, not prohibition. That being said, kids do need to be taught about the consequences of irresponsible texting, and parents need to be aware that, in giving their children cell phones, they are ultimately responsible for their kids' misuse of the devices. [From: New York Times]
Teen Texting Craziness
Syracuse University professor Laurence Thomas made news last year for walking out of the classroom whenever his students disobeyed his "no texting in class" rule. Wouldn't the kind of student who would text in class be happy to have class canceled?
In January, 13-year-old Californian Reina Hardesty sent 14,528 text messages from her cell phone. Fortunately for her daddy, he had her on an unlimited text plan.
Two high school cheerleaders in Seattle were suspended from school in December when school officials found out that they had taken nude pictures of themselves on their cell phones and, mistakenly or not, wound up with them circulating through the football locker room. The girls' parents have filed suit against the school. You'd think they would just let the embarassment die quietly.
In December, while on a class trip (according to an Internet rumor anyway), the above message appeared on 18-year-old Elizabeth Frisinger's phone after mistakenly texting her dad, back home in Cleveland, that she'd just lost her virginity. Whoops!
Outdoing Reina Hardesty, 15-year-old Ohioan Paige Hornev averages 15,000 text messages a month. That comes out to the impressive, or pitiful, average of 500 text messages a day.
Thinking about Emily Jenning's texting abilities just makes our thumbs hurt. The Vancouver, British Columbia teen pumped out an absurd 41,600 text messages in the course of a single month -- we did some quick calculations and that works out to about one text every minute.
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Comments
13
Subscribe to commentsanneeMar 31st 2009 5:29PM
Absolutely YES. If cell phones had been available (we had one but it was too expensive for kids) we would have forbidden texting. We would have gotten phones with no cameras also.
I have seen psychologists talking about teenagers' brains not being fully developed in terms for "understanding the long-range consequences of their actions". This has always been used to mitigate criminal activity by teens, and see no reason to believe that their choices concerning cell phone use would be any better.
We were quite strict parents. On a scale of 1-10 we were probably an eight. Lots of tears, gnashing of teeth, slamming of doors. BUT- We raised 4 great kids who are now successful adults. No extra-marital pregnancies, no drugs.
jenMar 31st 2009 10:29PM
"Is it possible that barring them from text messaging might actually hurt their development?"
I never had texting available when I was a child and I turned out fine. So have billions of other adults in the world today.
I wonder how exactly one thinks that it would hinder their development by banning. I would think that allowing kids to text all the time would be hindering their development.
crazy society we live in....
pickleman77Mar 31st 2009 11:17PM
The thing is,when you were growing up, no one had texting at all. It sounds exactly like what you're saying, but when you think about it, when something is the norm in any society, be it current or a decade ago, people feel like outcasts if they are not allowed to follow a trend that the people around them are following. If everyone is communicating through SMS, those who are banned or without cell phones tend to feel disconnected from those around them.
BeeMar 31st 2009 8:30PM
Hey, not all of us do it. That's the parent's responsibility to be more in touch with their kid. They need to overcome their fear of using the belt and give their spoiled brat what's coming to them. Spanking is not abuse, it is good parenting. My mom hits me when I get out of line, and it works! Parents are too distant with all this technology nowadays. They need to get involved, even if it means annoying the crap out of their kid.
CaitlinMar 31st 2009 11:09PM
Ah, no. What we should do is have parents stop being too lazy to set rules and enforce them. Set limits. Punish your kids if they go over them. Explain WHY the rules matter. Otherwise kids are just gonna rebel even more. Trying to make the problem not exist isn't a solution.
greeneyeddancer1Apr 1st 2009 1:34AM
no i don't think so my children enjoy it..13.19,25 they have been actively texting for 2 years now and it is good for their social skills.we as parents must teach them right from wrong and set down rules i also have tracking devices set on my 13 year olds that alarm me if she gets any texts that aren't kosher.although it would benefit my bank account to end their texting i think it would cause a resentment if i ended it. as long as there is no abuse then there is no restriction.
John LewisApr 1st 2009 9:29AM
Ban Kids ! China figured it out decades ago ! We have too many people on the planet ! If you haven't noticed, growth is over ! There are no jobs for the people we have and the only ones that beneifit from the US School system are the teachers !
TammyApr 1st 2009 9:41AM
Parents are not involved with their children anymore, unless of course something goes wrong. There is no communication between parents and teens, unless of course something goes wrong. Teens will always find a way of being "mean".
My children ( I have 2 girls and 4 boys), ages 29 - 9, they don't and didn't get cell phones until they are 13 and even then they have to prove their maturity and responsibility before we will and did get them one. Parents today just give their children anything and everything they want. Did you actually know that you can turn the cell phone off, with one phone call to the cell phone provider???? DUH!!!!
Responsible mature parents make responsible mature children.....DUH!!!!
Teach your children the proper text (talk) and if you don't trust your child with it, then get it shut off. I don't want anyone telling me that I am not allowed to have my children texting, that is my job and my responsibility. I trust my children, because I raised them to have a conscious, a heart, and knowing what it feels like to be "mean". Role reversal works wonders in teaching your child/children about how words can hurt.
tomApr 5th 2009 7:07PM
You have children pretending to be some one they are not ! HOW mad I am at this government and how they use technology that is designed for ADULTS as you have to be an adult to enter into a contract and in order for any one to get internet access they have to enter into an agreement so then we allow CHILDREN to use this Internet and then use that same ” Tool ” to entrap and convict MEN of sex crimes ? What has happened to America ? where is Justice and fairness and WERE the HELL are the parents ? Parents need to wake up take the Internet and cell phones from children they have NO right to be on AN ADULT orenated technology in the first place ! MY god do you take your children into bars ? “R ” rated movies ? Do you let your children smoke or take drugs ? THEN why do we let children on the Internet ? Clearly they have no place here as well seems they all get sexually abused and solicited so why is it that we are allowing children to use the Internet ? I am not against children using computers just the internet as it is clearly an UNSAFE place for them to be no matter what age they are till they are 18 years old all children should be ban from using this form of communication It is FRO there protection !
OrangeD00DApr 1st 2009 6:33PM
You obviously have no idea how stupid some 18 year olds can be.
Communication is a part of everyone's life at some point, and in this day and age, it's not just over a letter or face-to-face. We're having emails, phone calls, and text messages. Whether you like it or not, children will be using these "adult-oriented" services.
Here is a small anecdote: I went into see a rated G movie. The guy at the projector had a screw up and played a rated R movie. Sure, we can restrict them to "rated G," but can we stop "rated R" slip ups? No. Sorry to say that children will always be here, and they are the future of the world. When you're old, who will be the doctor to take help you? Provided they're not too old, it will be the "children" who "are pretending to be something they're not."
On a final note, maybe YOU should eat your OWN WORDS, and stop trying to sound smart. I pretend to be what I'm not, and I'm proud of it.
tomApr 1st 2009 7:08PM
@ OrangeD00D , so you think that children should be online then ? Fine then what you as a parent should be doing is taking FULL responsibility for YOUR child's actions then . NO I disagree Children have no place on the internet what so ever . You do not let children buy cigarettes or drink now do you ? Do you allow them into bars and strip clubs ? do you allow your children to have penthouse mags or play girl ? NO even though these things are around them there are measures in place to HELP prevent them from gaining access to this kind of stuff but LIKE a backwards inattentive parent you are you seem to think that the government can just step in and solve all you child rearing problems for you ? well I say then any time YOUR child is caught with naked pictures on there cell phones or computer that YOU should be charged with child porn and child endangerment as well you should be put on that sex offender registry . The parents are the ones that should be taking full responsibility for there child's actions while on the internet or there cell phone's ! When your child is being solicited by that creepy sick 30 year old you should be responsible if your child is raped and you should be the one going to prison for child endangerment ! After all YOU are the one that SHOULD be watching knowing what your child is doing you are the one that is responsible for your child's safety not me not the government not any one els BUT YOU ! suck it up and take care of your CHILD ! The main reason 8-10 year olds are being abducted is that YOU the parents are not watch them ! if you KNOW your child wants to go to a friends home then YOU the parent should be taking your child there and back ! END OF STORY ! Child is safe and sound every time ! Suck it up take responsibility for YOUR CHILD ! If they send naked pictures of themselves to one another YOU are responsible for that sex crime ! As you failed to watch them know what they were doing and YOU failed to tell them how this form of entertainment is supposed to be used !
DevynnApr 6th 2009 8:04PM
someone needs to take a chill pill. tom, that last rant of your's pretty much negated the first one. you want to ban kids from the internet as a way to solve SOME of the problems that are arising with kids using technology. and i say, "SOME," b/c technology is ALWAYS changing and new problems arise with these changes. this isn't something a blanket band aid is gonna fix. then you say, that if the kids are allowed to use the internet, then their parents should be held responsible for their children's actions online. find an argument and stick with it, dearie.
there are MORE parents out there who are monitoring their children's access to the internet and cell phone usage than those who are not. and banning kids does not teach them how to RESPONSIBLY use technology. oranged00d is right, NEVER underestimate the stupidity of 18yr olds. esp those who are ignorant b/c no one educated them b/c they figured they'd "get it" as soon as they turned 18. NO ONE "GETS IT" AT 18! you HAVE to be TAUGHT something to "get it" and sometimes that teaching takes 18+yrs. and even then, some ppl don't get it.
life is one big classroom, from which we never truly graduate. we just move on to the next lesson. teach the kids and they'll be waaaaaaaaay better off then out right banning them from doing something b/c you're too scared of what "MAY" happen.
White WolfJun 7th 2009 8:18PM
Tom, banning kids from the Internet and cell phones isn't the answer. Like it or not, kids and teens are people too, and people have the right to use the technology that's available to them.
I do agree that parents need to be responsible for what their kids do, but that means showing them the ropes and teaching right from wrong, not giving in to knee jerk reactions and totally banning them from the medium.