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New Frontiers in Etiquette: High School Photos, Tagging and Facebook

by Lee Bains on March 12, 2009 at 02:22 PM



In the past, we've discussed the evolution of tech etiquette, being sure to address the frontier of Facebook politesse. After reading a recent op-ed piece on Slate.com, though, we've had one particularly prickly Facebook phenomenon on our minds: tagging pictures.

Facebook user and Slate contributor Brian Braiker asserts that he is not what he calls a "digital native," one of those who have grown up in the Internet-age and whose ideas of privacy and identity demonstrate that fact. That explains why, after an old friend tagged him in a scanned image of an embarrassing high school photo, Braiker described the situation, thusly: "I felt violated."

Braiker goes on to characterize his reaction to this increasingly common occurrence as typical among folks of his generation, those who readily adopt sites like Facebook but have difficulties in reckoning with their social implications.


We here at Switched span those generations; some of us are Braiker's age or older, and some are what he would call "digital natives" (although we cringe at the term; we were all born in a place, not the Internet). Those age differences -- however slight -- do seem to make a significant difference in our attitudes toward the topic.

"I'm very hard to embarrass," said one 26-year-old Switched contributor.

That being said, his Facebook friends have posted pictures from which he's been tempted to de-tag himself. "I seriously consider it," he says, "all the time." But he never has. Deliberating on his reasoning, he finally concludes, "I guess I'm partially afraid of offending the people who tagged me."

Another contributor, 38, takes a different stance. When asked if he would de-tag an embarrassing picture, he quickly responded, "Yes. Without a doubt, I would de-tag it."

"As best I can," he continued, "I want to be the one who manages my public image, to the extent I have one."

It is that very line -- between public and private -- that becomes hazy on social networking sites. And, if those sites' popularity is any indication (along with that of reality shows and more intimate services like Twitter), it will only become hazier. Regardless of when we were born, or how tech-savvy we are, that line will surely be an increasingly difficult one to walk.

Facebook Crime and Punishment

    Blackmail
    Sending any personal info or incriminating pictures to someone on Facebook is a huge mistake for many reasons. One of the worst possible outcomes is getting blackmailed for money, sex, or, well, anything these sickos dream up. Really, whether they're using a fake profile or not, it's a horrible idea. Read up on the story of an 18-year-old who blackmailed 31 male classmates after he posed as a girl and asked for nude pictures. That's lesson enough.

    Impostors
    Sure, it can be harmless to impersonate a celeb online or create a fake profile for a movie character. But seriously, there's a definite line you shouldn't cross when pretending to be someone else and it can lead to dire consequences for you. Maybe it's not as extreme as the Moroccan man who was jailed for 43 days after creating a fake Facebook profile of a prince, but you never know. Just steer clear of it.

    Self-Incrimination
    Do we really have to explain this? Just look up the shoplifter who posed with her stolen merchandise, the many photos of drunk underage teens, and, most recently, the album featuring a couple who killed and ate an endangered iguana in the Bahamas.

    Suicide
    Social networking sites has been blamed for a lot of things, fairly and unfairly, but in our opinion, the worst offense has been their indirect involvement in suicides. Obviously, there are a lot of factors responsible in each case, but there does seem to be links between social networking and a rash of suicides, and obviously tehre's the case tragic of Megan Meier, who killed herself after a classmate's mom impersonated a teen boy and harassed her over Myspace.

    Murder
    We've reported on numerous incidents of people getting in trouble because of their online behavior. Now, people are becoming victims because of what they're doing on the Web too. In England, a man was convicted of murdering his estranged wife after she changed her relationship status to "single." So, be careful of who can see your profile and what you're doing, no matter how harmless it seems.

    Nigerian Scammers
    Oh, you thought this only happened via poorly worded emails, right? WRONG. Once people got wise to their old ways, these con men are turning to social networking sites for new targets. This time, they're hacking into people's accounts and impersonating them to ask for money, usually with some weird sob story. You can check out a transcript of one of these conversations here.

    Cooperation
    Even if the law isn't on a case, a victim, his friends, or empathetic strangers might be. Since it's easy to get word out for anything online, people are using blogs, forums, and social networking sites to help track down criminals. In one such case, a vehicle thief was tracked down by a bunch of anonymous car enthusiasts after the victim posted his story on a forum. In the end, they identified the guy through his Facebook profile.

    Self-Incrimination
    Do we really have to explain this? Just look up the shoplifter who posed with her stolen merchandise, the many photos of drunk underage teens, and, most recently, the album featuring a couple who killed and ate an endangered iguana in the Bahamas.


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Tags: etiquette, facebook, privacy, slate, tagging, top

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