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Lasers Are the Only Way to Deal With Pirates, Says Homeland Security

by Terrence O'Brien on December 6, 2008 at 06:42 PM

Lasers - The Solution to All of Life's Problems
Despite what Homer would have you believe, beer is not the cause of, and solution to all of life's problems. According to homeland security analyst, James Jay Carafano, the solution to all life's problems is actually lasers.

Carafano, a PhD and Senior Research Fellow at the conservative Heritage Foundation, has been suggesting for years that the solution to just about every security issue we face is directed energy weapons (DEW) such as lasers and microwave guns.

In 2004, he suggested outfitting power plants and transportation hubs with lasers to defend against missiles. Then in 2005, he declared them the future of anti-terrorism technology. In 2006, he suggested that laser-based weapons could be used to destroy Hezbollah rockets. And as if his obsession wasn't obvious enough yet, in 2007 he argued for deploying such weapons on nuclear powered Navy ships and that the Russian-Georgian conflict highlighted the need for DEW systems.

Now, Carafano is suggesting that these weapons would be perfect for defending against pirate attacks in the lawless seas. He argues that even low-powered lasers would be effective at disabling the engines of small boats and detonating shoulder-fired missiles before they could be launched. In fact, it seems the only thing Carafano isn't suggesting we do with lasers is strap them to the heads of sharks. [From: Wired]

Tags: laser, lasers, military, pirates, security, terrorism, weapons

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