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Comments
53
Subscribe to commentsDAWNov 13th 2008 2:14PM
Messing around with and reading someone else's e-mail is absolutely despicable !!
Also, nobody should read another's postal mail - except in the case where that task has been delegated, such as by a businessman to his seceretary, or by an invalid to his caretaker.
DAW
JOANNENov 13th 2008 3:02PM
IF U R MARRIED THEN YOUR LIFE IS AN OPEN BOOK AND YOUR E MAIL IS ALSO
BUT IF YOU DONNOT LIVE IN SAME HOUSE..ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESSS. IF U LIVE TOGETHER THEN ITS STILL NO ONE BUSINESS HOPE YOUR NOT CHEATING!!!.
Happy MarriedNov 13th 2008 3:07PM
If you have no problem sharing your email with your spouse, than I think you have no problems with your marriage. My email and voice emails are open to my husband as well as my children. I think when you hide something than there is intent... If you are not married then you still have that luxury...
DarkLightNov 13th 2008 6:36PM
I agree, a wife is supposed to be your other half... If it can't be like that, then you made a bad choice.
If I had a wife, we'd share our mails (and everything else)
..on the other hand, it's really difficult to find a good woman :-(
Dennis mirchinNov 13th 2008 3:09PM
It would be a non issue if in fact other credible information or evidence
suporting one concerns of foul play or other acts of concern to the person who wants peek into the e-mail of another person. caution once the act of opening ones e-mail takes place a discovery takes place where by a challange can take place thus justifing acts and actions. if in fact you come up blank,,, RUN!!!!!
This no way legal advise as I am not an attorney. However I am a private investigator...I have a litle expierance in matters like this>
JoshNov 13th 2008 3:13PM
My wife reads my e-mail and facebook all the time. Why would I care? I'm loyal to her and have nothing to hide.
dolfinmum4Nov 13th 2008 4:09PM
My husband has my passwords, I have his. I check his email, he is free to check mine, on all accounts that we have. We are open. When you feel that your spouse has no rights reading your emails or your social networking mail, and they get suspicious, who is to really blame? You are, because it looks like you are hiding something. I hide nothing from my husband, and he hides nothing from me.
HollyNov 13th 2008 4:57PM
Good for you dolphinmum4, everything you state is supported by the truth. Husbands, wives, significant others should have absolute trust in one another, this is the foundation of a healthiest of relationships. Fact of the matter is your stature of relationship is two far and few. I just wanted to say I congratulate you on your relationship of full faith and confidence with one another.
Secrets should exist, but only for national security and the safety of the public.
BrianNov 13th 2008 4:07PM
I'm glad I checked my girlfriend's (now ex's) email. We had been dating for three years. I was on a two week vacation with her, in Florida. I was fixing her laptop when a "suggestive" title for an email from one of her friends. I clicked it... and read about how wonderful he felt waking up with her, etc. I didn't want to ruin my vacation, so I spent the rest of the vacation having a.. uh... great time, then told her what I read and left her as soon as we got back.
DeNov 13th 2008 4:18PM
I sometimes have to check my husband's email because he tends to miss some important items. He has never asked for access to my email, but I would have no problem with him checking them as long as he didn't delete them completely before *I* got to read them. There's nothing to hide here. We're completely boring.
Kimberly LewisNov 13th 2008 4:45PM
Email is private. Do you listen in on others' phone calls?
doryNov 13th 2008 10:52PM
Yeah we listen to each others phone calls if we happen to be in the same room. my husband and i share an e-mail address and could care less if we read each others' mail. Nothing to hide on either side. Could be why we have been married happily for 21 years! If you are that secretive then you probably don't have an honest and loving relationship.
Kimberly LewisNov 14th 2008 4:38AM
Well Dory... On Monday my husband and I will celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary! We are true to each other, always have been. We have four children together and are very blessed. We also have 3 or more different emails: Each!. We communicate in person, spend time with one another and copy each other with emails and articles we know the other will enjoy or we want them to be aware of. We are all entitled to privacy and if you do not care about your poor husbands', you may not be as happily married as you think you are!
SylviaNov 13th 2008 4:50PM
I just broke up with a guy because he insisted on reading my email and wanted to check my phone all the time - I told him it was none of his business - we were only dating a short time, a few months - somethings should not be shared until there is a true commitment involved - trust should be there until one of them breaks that trust - and I never did anything to have him mistrust me - I never asked to see his phone or emails - never even questioned who he spoke to on the phone. I feel if your in a relationship, and your partner is saying your cheating, chances are that they are cheating on you and are feeling guilty and insecure.
BAPNov 18th 2008 9:13PM
I agree with you 100% I've always been accuse not sayin Im perfect and that it never cross my mine, but Im 4ever accused. I always told her thats its her making sure that Im not doin the same thats she's doin...
teejJan 29th 2009 1:47PM
i, respectfully, disagree. i'm a 24 year old male, and i've never cheated on anyone. unfortunately, i'm ashamed to say i checked one ex's email/phone/FG and another ex's phone.
i had trust in them but it was the little things that made me paranoid. i never directly asked to check their email, phone log, etc. on one instance, i would ask to borrow my girl's phone because i forgot mine (borrow it to make a call in front of her), and she'd delete all logs and it just seemed suspicious to me, considering we dated for a year. well, i checked her mail/FB without her knowing, and i only proved my suspicions.
i checked the 2nd girl's phone ONLY because she started to get a lot of texts during the night (and she didn't usually; dated for 2 years). she went to party with some mutual friends at another school and "passed out naked on frat guy's couch." i think this would make any guy pissed/paranoid. situations like that make you paranoid and lead to FB/email checking.
if someone's actually cheating on you and still dating you, they're not going to tell you straight up (especially pathological liars), so you have to do your own detective work sometimes. it's kind of a protection method. i believe a majority of situations like this stem from insecurity but also from your partner acting inconspicuously and defensively.
these girls weren't exactly skanks by any means, but i've definitely refined my girlfriend evaluation process. my most recent relationship never had any trust issues. we shared laptops and whatever, and i had nothing to hide, so i could care less what she sees.
i guess the moral of my story is: 75% of the time someone is defensive or protective over this shit, it's because they have something to hide. the trust lies in the willingness of your significant other to do it even if you don't ask. the cheater partners usually say, "what? do you not trust me?" ... i hate that line.
jinto555Mar 25th 2009 10:52AM
I agree with you that their should be a true and significant commitment before anyone should even ask for sharing somethings. I also agree with you about the partner accusing you of cheating( when you aren't, or even acting suspicious in any way). My ex wife use to get angry because she said some one was flirting with me, she once was angry with me for a week or more because my brothers girlfriend came outside and talked to me while I was having a cigarette. As it turned out I found out she was cheating on me, I guess I missed the signs, but I loved her and trusted her completely. Even after all that i feel significant others should be able to check each others e-mail & such only with their knowledge( no sneaking around). I believe married couples should be as open and honest as possible. Everybody has the right to some privacy, its up to each couple to decide whats right for them. ( sorry for rambling on)
drk2001Nov 13th 2008 4:53PM
Personally, i would consider somebody reading my email, postal mail, listening to voicemail etc totally intrusive. I would feel the same way if it were my wife (OK i am not married, but IF i had one LOL). The problem is that there IS somebody suspicious enough to spy on you, they are also suspicious enough to create scenarios which appear to be insulting (women love to say a racy email is "cheating").
The "why would she say THAT unless you are DOING IT WITH HER" is a question we men cannot answer. You can agree that you ARE guilty (so of course you have lost) or you can say you are not doing what you accused of doing - which means that you are a liar AND a cheater.
The people who say they have nothing to hide so it is OK probably voted for Bush and are happy to give up their right to privacy.
anneeNov 13th 2008 4:59PM
My husband and I have the same password. We could check each others emails, but we don't, at least I know I don't. I think the fact that we can shows the level of trust that we have. We've been married for 39 years, and I think we can look forward to another 30 years or more.
Caterina PrydeNov 13th 2008 6:10PM
After I saw some suspicious info, I check my fiance's account. The account I paid for while we lived together. I had given him access to my account, and he told me I could access his, but had changed the password. It and the other material were on my computer. And he was cheating, and he was kicked out. I wouldn't do it without cause, but I'm no longer as trusting.