Five Online Daters To Avoid (5)

Another issue I discovered was that some sites allow poeple to sign up from a country were there are NO divorce laws. Yet the individual is looking for a spouse and is "separated."

Just how are they expecting to find a new hubby while pepetually encoumbered with a current one? What's this deal?

EVERY example that aol uses involves a man (or a corporation) who is a lying, cheating, hustler! I'm really sick of this offensive BS. I've seen SO many old pictures and lies about status and/or personality traits I've lost count. And I don't mean white lies -- I mean DAMN lies. How can ANYONE do things like this and then expect their relationship to be based upon honesty and respect? Are you all bi-polar or what?

Online dating is just like real live dating. You meet some good people.....you meet some bad people.
That well dressed, widowed deacon at the church around the corner can be just as bad, dangerous or good as that divorced man with the out of wedlock child who lives 8oo miles from you.
Just like you don't know "them", they don't know "you" either so neither knows what the other is capable off. You just have to keep your heart in your hand and your head on your shoulder.
"TIME" will show you a lot about each other.

I have been doing the Internet dating thing since 1998. My first connection lasted 3 years while I lived in CA and he lived in KY. Things were great until I discovered that he was an Internet man whore with women all over the country. The second was a certified nut case from OH who I dated for 3 years and I won't mention all of the in betweens who were prolific liars, married, deadbeats and without meds.

I find online dating a mixed bag of fruit. But at this point, I am honestly bored with it and a little more than worn out from all of the bad experiences.

Ah! The Internet and the Wonderful Worldwide World of Online Dating!
I can still remember when VCR's were virtually nonexistent, much less owning an actual COMPUTER. I utilized the pc for college classes and research. I did not enter a chatroom until my second husband pulled the plug on our marriage quite unexpectedly. I was living in the country at the time and my children were still fairly young. I would go online, blurry eyed from crying, and try to concentrate on my schoolwork. Instead, I happened upon a local chatroom in which I met another local going through HIS second divorce. He claimed to also be separated. This was when I learned that everyone has a very different definition for the word 'separated.' His wife was out of town on a business trip and he utilized the Internet to seek out the most vulnerable. Before I left him, for example, I found a few email correspondances between him and a woman by the name of Elizabeth. I contacted her to warn her. Her son, fourteen, had died the previous summer of Lekumia. He was all she had ever had and my beau had found this information out in short order. Lesson: Be very wary who you choose to share your up-close and personal information with. There are far more snakes out there then there are angels, I fear.
Regarding an earlier comment I read: I know for a FACT that not everyone online is a 'misfit toy.' It just feels that way sometimes.
I think that this is an excellent article and I know that I recently posted a personals ad on craigslist that everyone should be wary of, based on warning #4. Still, I posted it under 'strictly platonic' and I was very honest. I'm curious, does this mean that I still qualify as a psychotic #4?
Yes.

Yes, but I'm STILL short, smart, and sexy.

It's interesting to see that some men are feeling victimized and/or stereotyped by the anecdotes women have written. Why take it so personally, unless you are one of "those" guys? I don't see relaying such cautionary tales as "whining", I see it as women looking out for other women, ie, propagating the sisterhood. And that's a good thing!

For myself, I met and married my husband 14 years ago (offline), but recently he got involved in chatrooms and far worse. We are still trying to sort this out, but I certainly don't blame the internet for my marital problems; that would be a major cop-out.

Even though I've never dated or even chatted romantically with anyone online, I would assume it's like anything else in this world: "buyer beware". A little common sense will go a long way! If you think you've already become too emotionally involved with someone you met online(and therefore lost your objectivity) ask a good friend for their opinion, and then BELIEVE what they tell you! Good luck, all...

Bless your Heart April...What are you doing still married to this man...sounds like it to me you should have left him a long time ago...As for these on-line daters...You got to be pretty bad to hve to go on-line to get a date...

Bless your heart April..For you to be living like that..Why haven"t you kicked him out...How much more can you take..are you going to wait till be beats the crap out of you?..Hes just waiting for the right time to say good-buy..you be the one to do it...

Personally, I have had enough of women and their lame, hypocrtical view of relationships.To begin with, I sure that many of these stories are true, but honestly there are no innocent players in the internet dating game. Every woman that I meet has some lame, sad story about some guy using , abusing, and lying to them. But the reality is this, there are women out there doing the same dirt and some of them are dirtier. I'm a soldier currently in a war zone(Iraq), and I'm here to tell you that women in some instances are worse than men (a lot worse).The ratio of guys to females(out here) is 20 to 1, so the ladies out here(military & civilian have their pick of men). And guess what? Most of these "trollops" choose to "shack up" with someone who is either engaged or married.They dont want a single sincere guy.It is actually a challenge and a sport to them to take someone else's man.It doesn't matter either if it's officer or enlisted or civilian. It's like sodom and gommorrah out here.Guys and sometimes women getting Dear john emails all the time. Women need to stop the hypocrisy. Most of you out there should own up to what you are...Women are like children...you want what you cannot have, and when a nice guy comes along, you dont want that because it's boring to you. Some dog (as you call them) comes along and uses you and lies to you, and you can't get enough. So stop the hypocrisy ladies..You love those type of men or else you wouldn't be getting involved with them..Ex-cons, serial killers, etc...you women can't get enough of them.The good men see this , and they either become bad men to get your attention or they have nothing to do with women (intimately or otherwise )...And you wonder why there are no good men out there...What a joke....I'm out.........

One word : webcam. No phone numbers or addresses... yahoo and aol are both able to use a nice cheap webcam to see who you are talking to. i will go one step further and say chat on webcam - G rated not porn chat for folks you want to meet, and then have a friend look at them. People who are being honest don't mind having your friend seeing them. If you are a lady and a man minds your gf seeing him say never mind. This is good because if you choose to meet, she knows exactly what he looks like. Even crazy folks are deterred from crime when they know they can be busted. Also meet in coffee shop in public place and have a friend sitting at a table nearby. Meet, chat, and leave them there... if you have chemistry you can meet again, but now someone else has seen the person live. Guys should do this too. Double dating is always a good idea. Especially for young people. Two 19 year old coeds on a date with a 20 year old guy who turns out to be 40 could get away better than one.

I have met several friends on the web. You must be careful just like anywhere else.

I start talk with this guy on blacksingles.com about two months ago we seem to hit it off and he is a single father and retired navy person so far he has not change any of his informations from his profile and whenever questions are asked he answer right away and he says all the time anything i want to know just asked, he gave me his phone number and i would'nt use it until this month and we talk more on im then telephone i call to his job just the other day and he was not at his desk but when i called back he ask why didn't i leave a messages when the lady in his office answer he said to just let him a messages anytime and it alright to leave them so to say all of this sometime you do have to be careful everybody can not be trusted we have not meet yet but he want to more so then i because i beleive we need to take thing slow he has e-mail me his pictures and i hav not yet no reason i just one of these people whom don't like taking picture at all. so keep us in pray that we work out toghter.

Re: the comment about nice guys, well the last I knew nice guys don't insult women and call them fat, or say they whine either, that's just mean and petty as well...'Nuff said?

A disabled BBW...
{And yes I have lost weight, but that still doesn't change my mind on manners and etiquette. rude is rude...}

I see lots of women with stories bur they don't have a Conner on the market. I've probably tried every major site there is in the last five years and I'm here to tell you what a waste of time and money it's been.
I've yet to meet anyone that wasn't some kind of misfit. Let's see there was the drunk with 2 kids, the junkie and several who's idea of a relationship was " when I snap my fingers I expect you to jump".
I never claimed to be the mega lottery prize but in all that time I thought that there might be a few people that knew the difference between even a half truth and a six foot high pile.
Do yourself a favor and join a book club. At least what you might learn won't come the hard way.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please remember...you have to kiss a lot of toads until you meet your prince/princess charming. After my divorce I was NOT interested in getting seriously involved with anyone. I had any number of platonic dates with guys I had known for years and had viewed as friends with potential. YES, being married I had not looked at them in any other way except as friends. The things I found out about them...OMG. In a chat room on AOL where many of us became close friends (men and women) I met my soul mate, now my husband of nearly 6 years. We spent months chatting online,and months talking on the phone, so that by the time we met in person we knew each other as well as if we had met right here in town. The nicest thing about it is that there was NO pressure. There were no instant hormones raging at us while trying to get to know each other. Long story short...we met, we moved in together, we married, and are still as much in love as when we first said I love you over the phone without ever having set eyes on one another.

Hooray for Kimberly....I too was in a similar situation as you and anyone can actually find the right person...I didn't have to go to another state, just another county...I work in another city during the week and come home on the weekends, but we too feel like we are inseperable, have all sorts of things in common and will hopefully get married. Congratulations on your nuptuals...

NEVER NEVER NEVER ever.believe a man or woman who says "I'm separated, and I'm sleeping in the den" THEIR LYING..
NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER think "Mr Separated in his own apt" will divorce her for you.....the cost of a divorce is enormous plus "She may come back to me" is his dream. FIND MR SINGLE AT ALL COST...FORGET MR SEPARATED AND MARRIED! never.

lets put it realistically...50% of men on sites are married/cheating creeps aka wankers......
why contribute to their "extra tarts on the side" syndrome. WHY? If you were married and he cheated, its just as painful. DONT SET YOURSELF UP FOR THAT PAIN. LETS PUT THEM TART LOVERS TO THEIR OWN UNHAPPY BEDS! AND NOT WITH US!

There are many nice men on those sites looking for true love. why not give them a chance. I mean the ones who are originally "Not my type" you may find Mr Hot Flames behind that silly face of his! He's probably nicer than Mr Hottie I'm looking for Miss Perfect types...........
give them a chance and be happy

I just want to say that there are "some" decent on line dating web sites....it is just the people on there that make it bad. Too bad you can't screen these people to make sure they aren't married or currently in a relationship. Then there are those swinger sites that personally, I think should be banned!! All of the people on these sites are just looking for sex and some admit they are married!! My bf joined one of these sites and met an "on-line prostitute" and was having an affair with her for a year before I found out! I was devistated!! I had been dating him for 4 1/2yrs when he started talking to this b&@#* and of course he lied to me when I found out. Get this he says that he loves me and doesn't want to loose me (he wants to marry me) but according to her he had been single for YEARS!!! and i found his profile and he stated that he wanted a discreet relationship....do me a favor and report on such sites as ADULT FRIEND FINDER. Theres alot of sick perverts out there