Five Online Daters To Avoid (2)
2. Photo Fakes
Dating site traffic analyses show that profiles with pictures are clicked on twice as much as those without. Having a good picture of yourself can be the difference between getting seen and getting lost. However, some people take the notion of "looking good" a little too far. They post misleading pictures that can trap you into thinking you're meeting your dreamboat only to find a shipwreck waiting for you. Let's face it, not everyone looks as good as George Clooney or Angelina Jolie.
Joan, a woman from New Jersey, had thought she met Mr. Right. He was charming and -- according to the picture on his profile -- quite handsome. She looked forward to seeing his auburn hair and deep eyes when it turned out that Mr. Right had gone gray. He also hadn't seen a gym in years. Turns out that his profile picture was over five years old. While there's nothing wrong with gray hair or a couple extra pounds, people who misrepresent their looks aren't being honest.
How to avoid them:
Look for profiles with more than one picture. People who choose only flattering angles could be hiding something. Ask for a recent picture, and if the person refuses, you could be looking at that person's high school yearbook photo. And if someone looks as good as George Clooney or Angelina Jolie, you need to double-check that it's for real.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
Stacy @ Oct 10th 2007 3:22PM
I met my husband online... however, we didn't wait forever to meet in person. I think thats the key. Meet in person quickly so that you dont have false expectations. It was easy for us though, because we lived in the same town.
Ken @ Oct 10th 2007 3:25PM
Hello,.........
It is a two way street when dealing with online dating. My experience is that most are superficial, trading looks rather than having substance. Going for a cup of coffee in most cases is not acceptable, rather than it be that a 4-5 star restaurant is to tell the co-workers where the date occurred. Not all woman are this way, but in my experience, 70 percent are. It is dis-heartning to find these hard numbers to be true, but the reality is the night in shining armour does not exist! A nice middle-class guy with Chivalry,Class,Compassion,etc.does. But he is passed-up frequently for Mr. GQ only to find he has a of woman he is literally for fun,pleasure, or games. More-so than not, it is the nice guy like myself who albeit gets a call literally 3-6 months down the road asking if I am still "interested", because the guy she had chosen was not what he said/appeared to be originally. Think about it ladies, life is not a dress rehearsal, it is the real-deal. PS: Not men are because your were.
Ken in Orlando,Florida
Nemah @ Oct 10th 2007 3:54PM
What's real bad is these women who say they are a few pounds over-weight, then when they show up for the date, they're about 250 - 350. Ya know, some men like the chubby's but some don't. Just be honest gals.
Eric @ Oct 10th 2007 3:58PM
I've been on MySpace for a little over a year now, and have been mainly browsing the single Catholic women. There was one young lady on that list who apparently used a pic of Angelina Jolie in her profile; she just didn't seem to be who she said she is. I double-check the profiles to see which ones are being honest (especially about her faith), and which ones aren't.
As Michael Conrad used to say on "Hill Street Blues": "Let's be careful out there!"
Chandra @ Oct 10th 2007 3:59PM
Some of these foreign men that want white women in England and America, show pictures that make them look white when in fact they are very dark. Many Indian and Arab men are as dark or darker than our American Blacks.
MAV @ Oct 10th 2007 4:05PM
Yes honesty is very important on important things of life. The inner self and your heart who you really are... BUT
since the Dating searches are age and photo conscious meaning PHYSICAL I myself have put how I look than (and that still I put older because I look a lot younger than I am ... I am 56, but look between 35 and 40 years old) so if I put my real age ... many of the men in the age I am interested in will not find me (47-60) they are all looking in 35-40 sometimes I find up to 50... My photo is accurate... no plastic surgery and I have youtful vitality to match...
and for me it is what is in the heart that I respond to.
starbackup @ Oct 10th 2007 4:09PM
My husband and I met on Match.com an excess of 5 years ago during a free trial. Neither of us misrepresented ourselves, however, the chemistry was not instantaneous(My picture was on my profile, but we did not exchange pictures; hence I only had a verbal description of him. We talked on the phone for a month before agreeing to meet face-to-face). We became confidants and allowed the friendship to flourish until it culminated into the wonderful and loving relationship it is today. Our sole act of falsification was distorting how we met to our friends and family members. Online dating was still risqué and stigmatized. Everyone thought the Internet was only haven for socially and physically awkward ogres and nymphomaniacs! We're both attractive, highly educated, financially secure professionals that did not want to waste time in clubs or bars. In addition to meeting my husband, I met an attractive attorney and a physical therapist. Online dating allows you to wade through the guises people present and allow you to be completely candid about what you want and what you don't want sans fear of hurting someone's feelings. Now all of my single friends have tried an online site at least once. We feel like pioneers!
Marci Palmer @ Oct 10th 2007 4:23PM
I was wary about internet dating, too, but I took a chance on EHarmony. I'm happy to say that I met a WONDERFUL man! We dated for 3 years and are now married. While it's important to be careful, don't let the horror stories keep you from giving internet dating a try. The horror stories always seem to get the most attention, but there are countless success stories out there, too. Give it a chance ... be patient, be careful, but be open to the possibilities!
Sam @ Oct 10th 2007 5:13PM
If men and women would quit deceiving each other with this online dating, it would be so much better. i have yet to date someone from online, i post myself as my true self, dont like it, tough. BE HONEST above all else people, its only fair or you disappoint yourselves and its your own fault, no one elses.
I have tried to find my soulmate,which i do believe exists, where are you? i dont ask for much in a man believe me. I have had the cruel end of being married to idiots and wife beaters from no reason of my own, it ended up that way after the fact, think you know someone in a years time before marriage only to find out what they are like after? i did. Wife beater and a pedofile, its pathetic you guys have to lie and woman are no better. things could be so much better if you are honest, try it..good luck to us all.
Fran @ Oct 10th 2007 5:14PM
I agree with the person who said that the men are online to play games. I found myself instant messaging someone, thinking that we were interested in each other, only to be put on hold, while he instant messaged someone else at the same time.
Too many people.. too little time. It's a shame. If the Players want to play, they should go to a bar!!
I really thought this would be a good venue to actually meet someone, but to no avail.
Pamela Cline @ Oct 10th 2007 5:23PM
My DAting Horror Story
I met my current boyfriend online at a dating site and we have lived together for 2yrs. I thought he was perfect and I moved 250 miles from home and family to be with him. We get along good sometimes. He now has a My Space page and on this page he displays himself as Single he justifies it by saying that he is not married and this caues alot of conflict between us. He has women on his site that are single and talk to him when they do question him about a relationship he finally admits but tells them it is bad and we are breaking up. I had to call one lady and tell her the truth I could see she was getting very emotionally involved with him and was excited to meet him and that she thought he was wonderful.. Well this wonderful man has a Sexual Transmitted Disease (Gential Warts)and he still has them, I know because I have them now also. When he met me he thought something was wrong but decided what to hell. I try to let these women know what is really going on but it causes us to fight so bad that it is just so stressful for me so what I thought was going to be a wonderful life turned out to be MY Hell. So yes please be careful when you meet someone online ask questions. look at comments ck out friends, look for any signs of a woman or man in their life. I regret my decision and I don't do dating sites anymore
Marcus Arelius @ Oct 10th 2007 5:25PM
I met my current wife on an internet dating site. Honestly: I lied aboput my age and my photos were a few years old, but very representative. Turns out so did she!!! Seems just about EVERYONE lies about their age so if you don't do it you'll be at a disadvantage. I recommend taking at least 5 years off your age as that seems to be about the mean based on my survey.
Bridget @ Oct 10th 2007 5:35PM
My ex IMed me and sent me a pic that was 10-20 years old! No wonder he waited 9 months to agree to meet me face to face - he turned out to be the biggest liar and fraud I've ever known! I should never have agreed to meet him a 2nd time! What he's done to me since then, is too long of a story. Just a lesson that one should always trust their gut and not be deceived by what one shows on the outside.
celest6e @ Oct 10th 2007 6:00PM
mmm
Mika @ Oct 10th 2007 6:00PM
Well my suggestion to the problem is get a WEBCAM,i have one with sound and i'll tell you its the best way, not only to see the person your talking with but also you get a feel for them...they're mannerisms they way they express themselves etc...
yabbi @ Oct 10th 2007 6:03PM
Some things to watch for:
He says he's 'separated', yet has a child living with him. Guess what? He's still living at home with his wife, too.
No photograph up front.
When you meet him, you discover he's been lying about 'something' - anything, his age, height, weight, amount of hair - he's basically a LIAR, that's one thing you can tell for sure.
Cynthia @ Oct 10th 2007 6:05PM
Please people!!! Beware people always lie when they chat on-line!! Be careful what you say and who you say it to...why can't we all just be kind, curtious and respectful to eachother...lying about your age, weight or whatever is just being insecure...you can really hurt someone if your'e not careful especially yourself...Remember the ARK...an Act of Random Kindness!!
jross64300 @ Oct 10th 2007 6:11PM
Hey where did you get my picture for this article
jross64300 @ Oct 10th 2007 6:15PM
Hey where did you get that photo of me for the page 2 of your article?
jross64300 @ Oct 10th 2007 6:16PM
Hey where did you get that photo of me for page 2 of your article?