Ex-Con Sues Google For "Crimes Against Humanity"
In a lawsuit filed in Pennsylvania Federal Court in Scranton, Google has been accused of "crimes against humanity" and the plaintiff is seeking $5 billion in damages. You might be thinking this has something to do with Google scanning private Gmail messages to better target ads or the company's willingness to filter its search results for the Chinese government. But, no. A man named Dylan Stephen Jayne has accused the Internet giant of somehow orchestrating things so that Jayne's social security number, when turned upside-down and then shuffled around, looks a lot like the word "GOOGLE". According to court documents, Jayne indicates that the Philadelphia 76ers basketball team is also a co-conspirator in this plot against him. He has brought the lawsuit against Google because he has a "responsibility to fight the war on terrorism" and that his "Constitutional right to privacey [sic] is being violated."Jayne, who recently spent two years in jail for public drunkenness and resisting arrest, is clearly delusional. But, you have to feel bad for the guy who, in documents submitted to the court (and available online), lists his sole possessions as a $200 Burton snowboard and an over-drafted checking account.
And though Jayne's got quite the challenge ahead of him if he's to prove any of this, at least his case is stronger than that of the Nebraska Senator who sued God earlier this week for causing "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornados, pestilential plagues ..."
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
americanwaste9 @ Oct 9th 2007 2:54AM
Top notch journalism, that is. So objective. So impersonal.
...Heh.
Razlahan @ Oct 19th 2007 10:47AM
It isn't meant to be objective journalism, dip. It's supposed to be amusing. Which it is.